V2C17

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“I’ve found you, Song Hanzhang.”

‘Shentu Ming’ looked unfazed, even showing a sliver of an appreciative smile. “A little later than I had expected. Was it because the ‘me’ within this subconscious was limited by Lin Jue’s intelligence? I had thought that you would have been able to sense that something was wrong earlier after all of the hints I gave you.”

Lin Jue’s expression turned from confusion to shock, before finally settling on ecstasy.

“Xuezhang? Why are you here? Why did you turn into Shentu Ming?” Lin Jue grabbed his arm excitedly.

“So that was the meaning behind your excuse, inviting me to eat to bring up The Truman Show.” Song Hanzhang pushed up his glasses and looked meaningfully at ‘Shentu Ming’. “And the time you called out Lin Jue’s name despite never having met him, and reminding him of my migraine, and denying that you were in an accident. Were they all hints to this fool, immersed within his own subconscious?”

‘Shentu Ming’ shook his head. “It wasn’t to wake Lin Jue, the person I wanted to wake was you. I didn’t expect Lin Jue to find the issue, so I only hoped that he would be able to find you so that you could spot the abnormality.”

Song Hanzhang raised his brows. “I see. To have acted so cautiously and to have been so covert, unable to even directly identify yourself; it seems that you were subject to a great deal of restrictions after entering this mirror world. To connect that with Lin Jue mentioning your heartburn, was it because your actions crossed the line?”

“It was a warning to me, but now the restrictions have been released. Once you found the real me, I would no longer be restricted, and this place would cease to exist,” ‘Shentu Ming’ said, walking out from his room and pointing towards the depths of the corridor. “See? This subconscious world is already beginning to break down.”

The images in the corridor had began to blur, peeling off like old wallpaper then gradually turning into wisps of black mist. In the even greater distance, the world had already long since turned into nothingness, like it was all sinking into an eternal abyss.

Song Hanzhang looked at this eerie scene and murmured to himself, “So will I disappear as well?”

Lin Jue felt a pressure on his chest; even though the person in front of him wasn’t the real Xuezhang, he still helped him so much.

“You’ve never existed at all, so naturally you’ll return to being dust.” ‘Shentu Ming’ looked at Song Hanzhang, and like reading from a verdict, said, “You’re simply Lin Jue’s knowledge of me, you don’t even know who I truly am. Think of it carefully; do you have any memories aside from those related to Lin Jue? Do you remember what you have experienced before meeting him? You were limited by the rules before and so would never have thought in this direction. Though you believed you were free, in truth, you don’t have a past, nor a future. You were created, controlled, and used without a consciousness of your own.”

Song Hanzhang looked at him quietly, a vague loneliness and sadness in his eyes.

“That’s not true!” Lin Jue suddenly turned to Song Hanzhang. “If it was all just an illusion, why did you trust me, help me analyze the situation, give me the right hints? You could have easily rejected me!”

Song Hanzhang said calmly, “After reading that diary, I had already realized that I was nothing more than an illusion.”

Lin Jue’s eyes widened, his heart burning like it had been pressed on by a hot iron.

Why? Even though he knew that he was just a ‘Song Hanzhang’ made from Lin Jue’s subconscious, he had still wanted to help him and end this illusion, despite knowing that he might stop existing as a result.

“As for why I helped you, it might have been because I wanted to know the truth. I wanted to see if my world was fake. Even if I’d disappear forever, I didn’t want to live in The Truman Show for the rest of my life.”

Song Hanzhang broke free from Lin Jue’s hands and watched as the ground beneath them slowly fall away. In the end, it was just them three, standing in a bleak, dark world, facing the cruel truth.

“You wrote many things about ‘me’ in your diary. That was the Song Hanzhang from your memories, and they helped to build me. Perhaps I’m not the real Song Hanzhang, but I’m the Song Hanzhang of your mind; brave, steadfast, fearless. Now that I think about it, this desire to see the truth and this courage to see the truth may also have come from your perception of ‘Song Hanzhang’.”

Lin Jue wanted to argue, but he stopped him.

“All of the hints that I gave you were things that you speculated on yourself, but lacked the confidence to speak of. Hence, you needed me to say them to you in order to trust in your own judgement. There’s only one explanation for this: you trust me wholeheartedly. Even in this world constructed in your deepest subconscious, you still believe that I am right and that…

“I am very important to you.”

The scenery, and Song Hanzhang as well, began to turn into a swirl of ashes.

His dark eyes looked at Lin Jue. “I remember you now, along with everything that had happened in the game. I suddenly feel a little resentful, and a little jealous, but even these are emotions that you’ve imposed on me, right? The thought makes me rather sad, but even that sadness is fake…”

The world fell into dust. Lin Jue grasped at the Song Hanzhang that had been torn into smoke and ash. He had been almost completely devoured by the illusion, but still, he looked at Lin Jue calmly.

“I’ve already done all I can to search for the truth, and I’ve received it now. But is this truth really ‘the truth’? Everything that I’ve done can be compared to chasing after the sun, or filling up the seas, so humble that it’s pathetic compared to the power that controls this game. But I did my best. The other me, Lin Jue, I hope that you’ll be able to go further than I did.”

The world became bleak, grey powder, only Lin Jue’s consciousness left to wander through the chaos; unseeing, unhearing, unfeeling, in a barren grave.

Then, he woke up.

Lin Jue looked at himself in the mirror and suddenly turned around to search for Song Hanzhang. He was right beside him.

The trauma left from seeing Song Hanzhang turn to dust just moments before still shrouded his heart. Lin Jue went up and hugged him ecstatically. Song Hanzhang stiffened at the sudden outpour of emotions before patting his back in a comforting manner.

It was only like this, with Lin Jue hugging Song Hanzhang deathly tight, that he could feel like this person was truly alive.

Not an illusion, not gone forever; this person who had guided him and helped him from the very beginning was still here.

He suddenly thought that even if this was hell, it would be fine.

“Have you hugged me enough? If an enemy was to appear, we would both die.” Song Hanzhang’s voice was still cold, even with a hint of dislike in it, but Lin Jue didn’t mind at all. He laughed dumbly to himself and released him.

Their surroundings seemed even more barren than before entering the mirror, but all of it somehow gave Lin Jue a subtle sense of familiarity, like this world of horrors was where he was meant to be, the peace in the illusion just a fleeting fantasy.

“Xuezhang, how did you enter the mirror?” Lin Jue asked.

“I saw you wake up in the illusion’s bed from outside of the mirror and had a bad feeling about it. From my knowledge of you, you would easily lose yourself to that manner of illusory peace; after all, the illusion was created from your desires, so it would be only natural that you would want to sleep there forever. At that moment, Lilith asked me if I wanted to go into the mirror’s world as well, so I entered after picking an identity.”

Lilith… Of course it was her! Was she trying to finish both of them in one go? But still, they survived.

Lin Jue thought back to the eerie laughter he heard before entering the mirror; it had been Lilith’s voice.

“Could you not tell me your identity in the mirror? Did she not let you?” Lin Jue asked again.

Song Hanzhang didn’t deign to reply, just taking out his phone to show him. Lin Jue read the message.

【1. Ensure that Shentu Ming’s daily actions are the same as usual, and that no one will sense that anything’s wrong.

2. You’re forbidden to reveal your identity to Lin Jue or anyone around you.

3. Do not actively show or hint to anyone the elements or contents of this game.

4. The above three rules will lose effect after Lin Jue’s intention to leave has been formed and the true identity of the borrowed body has been found.

5. When Lin Jue actively appears within ten meters of Shentu Ming, conversations are allowed, but must not disobey the first three rules.

6. Attempted violations will be severely punished. Violations will result in death. Find the way out within 15 days, otherwise death will occur.】

“…Everything’s restricted, there’s nothing left you could have done!” Lin Jue looked at the phone and said indignantly.

“There wasn’t much I could do, but if I did nothing, it would only have resulted in death. I had to rest my hope on…” Song Hanzhang’s voice suddenly lowered.

“Rest your hope on what?” Lin Jue didn’t hear him clearly.

Song Hanzhang watched Lin Jue with dark eyes. “On you.”

“Huh?” Lin Jue was dumbfounded.

“I had to choose to believe that I was important to you.” Song Hanzhang’s words shocked Lin Jue. “Important enough for you to be willing to wake up from your sweet dream, to overcome laziness and fear, and to pursue the bloody truth. It was a large gamble. Should I have won, we would both have survived, but shoul I have lost, we would both have died.”

Lin Jue didn’t know what to say. Song Hanzhang didn’t have to do that. He could have just watched as Lin Jue fell deeper into his desires in the mirror, until his death was announced by Lilith, but he risked his life to enter the mirror world, to try and wake him up…

Song Hanzhang was important to him, but what was he to Song Hanzhang? Lin Jue had never been certain, not once, but now, he suddenly understood.

Song Hanzhang was also willing to risk everything for him, to gamble everything on the possibility that they would both live.

Lin Jue, to him, was also very important.

Lin Jue’s eyes moistened. “…Thank you. For not giving up on me.”

Song Hanzhang replied quietly, “And thank you for trusting me.”

Even if it was part of an illusion, he had trusted unconditionally that ‘Song Hanzhang’ would lead him to the exit. Without such trust, everything that Song Hanzhang had laid out would have fallen apart.

What allowed them to survive the illusion was not only Song Hanzhang’s intelligence, but also their trust and connection with each other. Because of that trust, they hadn’t given up; because of that bond, they were willing to wake up.

“I’m glad that you could make the choice to face reality head on,” Song Hanzhang’s cool voice sounded in the dark.

Lin Jue suddenly felt something go off in his head. “Then can you tell me now? What you’ve been hiding from me.”

Song Hanzhang seemed to smile bitterly. “You really… Why are you so stubborn over such a small thing?”

“You’re the stubborn one, did you really think that I couldn’t tell? There was something wrong with you after the first round ended, you were even distracted at times, which is completely different to how energized you were in round one! I don’t know what happened but it had to have been something terrifying- you’re not even willing to tell it to me!” Lin Jue accused. Even though he knew Song Hanzhang trusted him as well, he still feared.

There was a faint smile from the bottom of Song Hanzhang’s eyes.“If you really want to know, I can tell you some of it, but not now.”

Lin Jue brightened and he nodded vigorously. Whether he could help or not, at least he could share some of Song Hanzhang’s burdens.

He desired this person’s trust. It was like this from the very beginning; he relied on and trusted Song Hanzhang.

Song Hanzhang was the only one who was different. Lin Jue knew it clearly; to him, Song Hanzhang only was different from the rest.

&&&

To give a simple rundown on the mechanics of the mirror domain:

The domain was created from Lin Jue’s subconscious and parts of Lilith’s rules. The first driving force Lin Jue’s biggest desire: that everything hadn’t happened (which would result in Xuezhang never meeting Lin Jue), and that everyone was still alive. The second driving force was the desire for Xuezhang to still remember him, and his wish to return to the game to keep fighting alongside Xuezhang.

At first, the first driving force was at an advantage, so the mirror world followed the big rule of ‘everything has not happened’, and everyone, including Xuezhang, did not remember Lin Jue. But because of the second driving force, even though Lin Jue avoided Song Hanzhang, he would still often meet him. If we followed this route, Lin Jue would have happily fallen deeper into his own world before getting devoured by Lilith and joining the army of the dead.

However, Song Hanzhang was worried for Lin Jue. He made a deal with Lilith and entered the mirror world under the condition that he would obey certain rules in order to wake Lin Jue’s subconscious. Under such restrictions, Song Hanzhang chose another identity to enter the world as: Shentu Ming. (The following Shentu Ming’s will all refer to Xuezhang).

There were many restrictions on Shentu Ming ver.Xuezhang’s actions; you could almost say that he couldn’t affect Lin Jue at all. So, to achieve his goals, he used the Song Hanzhang in the subconscious.

As for when Lin Jue asked if Shentu Ming was ever in a car accident, the reason why Shentu Ming could deny it was because: 1. His answer was truthful, Song Hanzhang had never been in a car accident; 2. Lin Jue’s mind was a mess and didn’t see anything wrong with it (and even if he did, it would only have been a passing thought.) Shentu Ming knew that Lin Jue wouldn’t delve deeper into the problem, which was why he straight up told Lin Jue to let him pass it onto the Song Hanzhang in the illusion later.

Afterwards, Shentu Ming did many tests to find out where the bottom line of the rules were, and was punished with heartburn. Then, he observed Lin Jue’s daily routine under the premise of thanking Song Hanzhang for helping him with his essay, then invited Song Hanzhang to lunch to corner Lin Jue in the canteen. Then he started talking about movies. Everything that the Xuezhang in the subconscious knew about movies was completely based on Lin Jue’s perception of Song Hanzhang. He had only heard Song Hanzhang talk about the Truman Show in detail, so this element allowed Lin Jue to remember Song Hanzhang, which caused the second driving force of the subconscious to appear again. That night, he had a nightmare and woke up.

Shentu Ming was also gambling on how important he was to Lin Jue.

At that time, the second driving force had already exceeded the first driving force, and it won completely after Shentu Ming’s real identity was revealed. The conditions for leaving had been achieved, so the mirror world started to collapse, and the two were able to successfully leave the mirror world.

As for who the Xuezhang in the mirror world was, he was actually who Lin Jue thought Xuezhang was. Of course, the real Xuezhang is slightly different from Lin Jue’s perception. Even though Xuezhang is not completely dark inside, he’s not as holy as Lin Jue thought. Lin Jue basically made up a bunch of reasons for everything Song Hanzhang did.

The Song Hanzhang in the illusions did not have memories of his own; all of his memories were memories of when Song Hanzhang was with Lin Jue. If it was things that Lin Jue didn’t know about, he also wouldn’t know it, such as what Xuezhang had experienced as a child. Unfortunately, he himself wouldn’t realize the fault in his memories, as he was created by Lin Jue.

The limit to his IQ is the same as Lin Jue’s. For example, even if Song Hanzhang knew about certain medical issues, if Lin Jue didn’t know about it, the illusionary Song Hanzhang also wouldn’t.

Which is why the illusionary Song Hanzhang said that everything he had told Lin Jue were Lin Jue’s own thoughts, it was just that there were things that he couldn’t trust his own judgement on so they had to be spoken by Song Hanzhang. Also, his emotions were all fake, even emotions such as sadness determined by Lin Jue. If Lin Jue’s subconscious thought he would be sad at such a time, he would feel sad, like an advanced AI, or a NPC with a consciousness of its own.

But even if it was an illusionary Song Hanzhang, it still possessed some qualities from the real Song Hanzhang, such as his desire to find the truth even if it would cost him everything. Although that too was based on Lin Jue’s perception of Song Hanzhang.

As for why this was so complicated, it was because the Song Hanzhang in the illusion was, to a certain point, an insinuation of the real Song Hanzhang’s life, and also because it was a sort of hint at the game.

Apologies for such a long explanation. The author always felt that the basics to a story was for the reader to understand it. If the reader still feels confused even after reading through carefully and must read the author’s explanation to understand, then it must be the author’s fault to be improved on.

***

Vera’s Notes:

Luci, two hours before upload time: I’m done translating! It’s 1K longer than normal chapters by the way!

Vera: w h a t ?

Luci: The extra 1K is entirely from an author’s note!

Vera: w h a t ?

Your editor Vera is struggling.

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