Chapter 11 Part 1 - Understanding of External Factors Beyond One’s Will

Translated by: Jellylynn

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Edited by: Lynn

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Names mentioned in this chapter (which can also be found in the glossary ):

-俞知乐(yú zhī lè)- Yu Zhi Le, the female protagonist.

-余子涣(yú zǐ huàn)- Yu Zi Huan, the male lead

A sudden thought struck at Yu Zhi Le’s mind while she was taking a shower. She realized why she felt an inexplicable sense of familiarity in Yu Zi Huan’s eyes a few days ago.

Although the emotions in Yu Zi Huan’s eyes were not as intense and complex as she had seen that day, the brilliant eyes were really similar to the young man she met before transmigrating!

Yu Zhi Le turned off the faucet, and used a bath towel to wipe her face as the memory came back to her. She had met the young man twice. The first time, she wasn’t able to discern his appearance at all because he was hidden in the shadow. The second time, she had a chance to see clearly. However, Yu Zhi Le was too flustered that she didn’t pay attention to what he looked like at all. If she forced herself to think about it, only a blurry silhouette appeared in her head.

She only had a deep impression of the way he looked at her.

The intense emotion seemed to devour her whole, it was extremely complex that she was unable to decipher it. It felt like there was a thorn on her back [1] making her feel unable to relax.

Could that person be Yu Zi Huan? Yu Zi Huan after ten years.

Although he was much taller than the current Yu Zi Huan and his physique was much stronger, it would explain why he knew the elderly people in the neighbourhood. If he was Yu Zi Huan, he would also recognise Yu Zhi Le and be reluctant to let her go.

Most importantly, Yu Zhi Le finally recalled what Uncle Wang said to her at that time, “Your brother is here.”

Everything suddenly became clear at once, [2] as if she had discovered a new world, and dressed in frenzy. She couldn’t wait to share it with Yu Zi Huan. But as she hurriedly opened the bathroom door, she realized another thing.

The fact that Yu Zi Huan was looking for her ten years later and treating her so subtly meant that she was not with him then, and that she probably left without bidding goodbye. That meant that sometime between now and 2015, she might have suddenly disappeared, possibly going back to 2015 or she could travel to another point in time again.

As Yu Zhi Le thought about this, her heart went cold and she hesitated again.

It was already difficult to explain her identity as a transmigrator, let alone telling Yu Zi Huan, who was already very dependent on her, that she might disappear. This would only make the sensitive Yu Zi Huan think that she wanted to abandon him.

Lying in bed at night, Yu Zhi Le, who had a load on her mind, could not stop her mind from wandering. Sometimes she felt that it was better to tell Yu Zi Huan the truth, but a moment later, she imagined that Yu Zi Huan would not believe her and send her to a mental hospital.

In the silent night, she turned over and sighed unconsciously.

Yu Zi Huan’s voice, who she thought was long asleep, sounded from her feet, “Are you facing any trouble?”

Yu Zhi Le was startled and said sheepishly, “What? No… Did I wake you up?

Yu Zi Huan also turned over and changed from lying on his side to his back. His voice was clearer. “I’m not blind. You look so absent-minded after the shower that you didn’t even write much on the story you make up every day.”

“It’s really nothing.”

“Didn’t you say you need to ask your family for help when you are in trouble?”

Yu Zhi Le, who wanted to say something in passing, was immediately speechless. She could not do anything about it since Yu Zi Huan used her method against her.

In the dark, the two fell into momentary silence. Yu Zhi Le thoughtfully and tentatively asked, “Don’t you find my origins strange?”

Yu Zhi Le had never explained her identity to Yu Zi Huan, why she did not have an identity card, and why she suddenly appeared in this neighbourhood. Yu Zi Huan had never taken the initiative to ask.

“Of course it’s strange. Normal people will feel strange.”

It took a while before Yu Zi Huan’s calm reply came from the other side. However, listening to his tone, it was as if he didn’t belong to the group of normal people he spoke of.

“Then you…”

“But I also know that you are genuinely treating me well. You are better than those neighbors who watch the bustle and blood-related strangers, so I don’t care about where you came from.”

It didn’t matter who she turned out to be and what she escaped from by coming here. He didn’t care even if she was a murderer and arsonous and evil gangster.

The words “I don’t care” warmed Yu Zhile’s heart. However, the thought that she might one day in the future transmigrate to another point in time due to an unexplained external force, leaving Yu Zi Huan in a helpless situation again made her even more melancholy.

“If, I mean if…,” Yu Zhi Le carefully weighed her words, “One day, because of external factors beyond my will, I suddenly disappear…”

“What foolish things are you spouting?” Yu Zi Huan rather hastily interrupted her. He paused for a couple of seconds before sitting up again in some disbelief and asked, “You’re not really a fugitive, are you”

“Fugitive?” Yu Zhi Le also sat up. In the dark, one was at the head of the bed and the other at the end of the bed, stared at one another. The sadness that had welled up transformed into a tone of she did not know whether to laugh or cry when she realized that Yu Zi Huan imagined her as a fugitive. “The external factors beyond my will are not being arrested, okay?”

Yu Zi Huan froze for a moment and turned to the side and under the blanket. His voice seemed soft and depressed. “What is that?”

Yu Zhi Le stammered for a long time, but she still didn’t know how to explain the situation that she came back from 2015, and might transmigrate to another point in time one day. So she had to reassure Yu Zi Huan first and wait until she could come up with how to prove that she wasn’t lying.

“I am just hypothesising. You just have to know that I would never leave you behind if it was my choice.”

Yu Zi Huan did not respond for a while and when Yu Zhi Le wondered if he had fallen asleep in the meantime, she finally heard a very soft “mmm” coming from her feet.

Yu Zhi Le, who had always had a big heart, was on the verge of falling asleep when she wasn’t able to wait for Yu Zi Huan’s answer. After hearing this comment, her mind was completely relieved and soon fell asleep. He missed Yu Zi Huan’s very soft murmur as if he was talking to himself.

“I believe you.”

[1] 如芒在背(rú máng zài bèi)- A thorn on one’s back. It describes restlessness/extreme anxiety.

[2] 豁然开朗 (huòránkāilǎng)- Everything become clear at once/to achieve speedy enlightenment