Chapter 2

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Hell yeah! The day has come—I’m meeting up with Miss Dyna!

To prepare for today I had been ruthlessly trained by the irritating witch in my house.

‘Why do you always have to hide behind cover?’ she would say, with a shocked face.

And to that, I say: Shut up! It’s not so easy to break this habit after living it for ten years! I wanted to know how to let Miss Dyna have a good time, but instead, the witch tried to fix my unnatural tendencies. Thanks to that, I have no idea what to talk about.

But when I left, Tina gave me a memo and said, ‘please read this beforehand.’ It was unusually kind of her. However, since I took a detour to avoid streets with humans—for no particular reason, of course—I had no time to read it. I could probably read bits of it throughout the day. Probably.

The fountain area in the centre of the castle town was overflowing with as many humans as it was water. Ugh… I’m glad it’s sunny but there are so many humans I can’t calm down! Should I really be standing in this crowd? Even in the castle, when the officers assembled to talk, I was always so nervous I wanted to run away.

Waiting another 15 minutes seemed like hell, but fortunately, Miss Dyna arrived quickly.

Ph-, phew. I was a little worried she wouldn’t show up.

“Good morning, the weather’s wonderful today.”

How can one greeting be so charming!? I almost died from how purifying she was.

I smiled and waved at her.

“G-g-g-g-g-good morning.”

… You don’t need to point it out. Please.

Damn. I let my guard down. All my training to not be suspicious, would go to waste with one smile from Miss Dyna if I didn’t brace myself. I had my mask on when I invited her, so I must’ve looked very suspicious. Yeah, why did she said yes?

“I see you don’t have your mask on today. I thought it looked splendid on you.”

“… I don’t always have it on.”

The mask looks good on me!? Can I cry?

She seemed genuinely curious and said, “Oh, I see,” sadly.

I’m sorry I didn’t wear my mask!

But I couldn’t falter here. I needed to bring up a topic.

I took a sneaky peek at Tina’s memo and read out the first line. “Uh, please buy… spring onions and apples… wait what the hell is this!?”

Don’t give me a shopping list! Buy them yourself, stupid witch! And plus you know I hate spring onions!

I had fallen for her trap. It was all over.

Miss Dyna smiled at me. Aw, is the date ending already?

“Spring onions and apples? Okay, let’s go.”

Wait, we’re going? That’s… good, I guess?

I followed behind Miss Dyna who walked with a spring in her step to get a second look at the paper.

Oh. She drew a line in the middle and it says ‘date strategy starts here’ under it.

Mm. It’s my fault for not reading it beforehand. My bad.

If I had come back and complained to her I would’ve been blown up by magic.

And thus, my monumental first date started with shopping for spring onions.

I hated spring onions, but I couldn’t refuse when Miss Dyna handed them to me with a smile. Had that witch calculated this too?

… Having spring onions sticking out of my bag during a date threw me into an existential crisis though.

After that, we got a meal. I brought her to a restaurant that was apparently popular in this castle town.

My civil official friend… or rather, a pervert that I have to be with a lot told me about it.

I picked a random dish from the cryptic menu. Miss Dyna, on the other hand, ordered a lamb’s brain dish… does that even taste good?

“I was delighted when you invited me, Lu.”

“Me, me too!”

Um, Lu isn’t my real name though. Why are you suddenly calling me by my nickname?

That perverted civil official might’ve told her something. Or maybe the violent princess. There were so many suspects that it was impossible to tell.

Still, hearing Miss Dyna call me that made me feel like ascending to heaven!

“You know how you always hid behind pillars and stared at me? It made me so curious to know more about you.”

Haha, geez, that would make me curious too. Hearing the person I had been shadowing tell me about my suspicious behaviour felt like a knife to my heart.

“And you were also wearing the mask before… so I just had to accompany you. There was simply no other choice.”

Uh, might be weird coming from me, but masks aren’t a good thing. The only people with those on are assassins.

Man, this is terrible!

Miss Dyna is fascinated by the ankle-high impression she has of me, but as a man, I can’t have that! I need to raise it!

I opened up the memo under the table and read it out. “Umm… I am so moved that you would come with a stupid mutt like me today, that I just want to grovel and cry! … Yeah.”

She tricked me!

I took a second look at the paper, and right underneath that line, it said, ‘it would be funny if you said that but she’ll be really grossed out so make sure not to say it.’

But I don’t care! Once I get home I’ll take her down before she can use her magic!

However, Miss Dyna smiled at me and said, “You’re just as funny as I thought you were, Lu. I often see you training at the castle, but I got to see a different side of you today. I think both sides of you are lovely.”

Are you a goddess?

Afterwards, she continued to respond to all my mistakes with a smile.

When we parted, she said, “Let’s go out again some time,” with a wave.

I’m. So. Happy.

I actually wanted to hold hands with her, but who cares! Today made me want to live another five years!

I came home hugging the spring onions—that I hated—and saw the witch reading a book with a cup of tea. Without even a glimpse at my face, she asked if I got rejected, so I bonked her head with the spring onions.

Still… you were a big help. Thanks.

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