Chapter 3

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“Hey, how was the date?”

When I arrived at work that morning, I ran into the world’s nastiest man.

The man stopped basking in the sun to wave and talk to me with his charming smile. Don’t come. Go somewhere else.

Alas, my thoughts were disregarded as he walked to me and patted my shoulder.

“I bet you hid behind cover, walked behind Dyna, even though it was a date, and acted incredibly disgusting like you always do, right? Come on, make me laugh with the results of your boundlessly hideous performances.”

“…”

The thing is, I’d probably get fired if I killed him here. Oh, the injustice of life.

He—Vyro—had a pretty face, but his heart was jet black! Take my word for it, I’m an expert! He knew the weaknesses of 90% of the men working in the castle and none of them could do anything about it. So in the big picture, this world would be more peaceful without him.

However… unlike me, a mere army officer, this perverted civil official was the prime minister’s right-hand man. We officers could leisurely enjoy our training in this warring continent because the prime minister and this guy took measures against our surrounding countries. I’ll, I’ll let you off just this once!

“Something wrong? You always go silent when things don’t go your way. You’re silent anyway though. I bet you’re insulting me in your mind, aren’t you? Like, ‘oh, his face is so pretty I might just fall for him’.”

“I’d rather die than fall for you!”

The worst thing about these interactions with him was that he always meant what he said. I want to run. Also, that wasn’t even an insult.

However, he had grabbed me by the neck with both hands, so when I tried to run, I began dragging him across the hallway. I’m too scared to look back!

“Come on, faster. Your stamina’s your one good point, right? I need you to run… fast enough so my feet would float and flutter in the air.”

“I’d get choked to death if I did that!”

“Boring. In other countries, magicians can float people, but despite all the hard work I put in day in and day out for this country, I have to walk around on my bare feet. Don’t you feel sorry for me? So get running.”

“Don’t use me to fly. Go jump out of a window instead.”

Also, that was a super controversial statement. This country ostracized magicians due to religious reasons, so it wasn’t something an important person like him should say.

I wanted to introduce the witch in my house to him, but Tina hated humans. On the very few occasions that another person came to my house, she disappeared immediately. And even if I did somehow get them to meet, I’d probably have to pay an overly painful price. Just a thought.

Vyro clapped from behind me.

… Aren’t you grabbing my neck right now? How did you clap? Are you really human?

“You know, when you first started working at the castle you were so unsightly with your sneaky behaviour and worn-out face, but you’ve started looking better in the past month. Right about after you came back from your ruins investigation job. Did you hire someone to do the housework for you?”

“Ugh.”

I stopped in my tracks as he touched a sore spot for me.

I didn’t even need to think about it. It’s Tina. That unfriendly brat did most of the housework for me. She cooked, cleaned, did the laundry and also hit me with an ample amount of sarcastic remarks. I’ve been teaching her how to use a sword in return, though.

“I can’t imagine you would hire a maid when you’re so against other people coming to your house. You got a girlfriend? You two-timing?”

“Hell no!”

I’m not interested in young girls! And besides, her personality is the total opposite of my type! This morning she put spring onions in everything dish for breakfast… even the drink was squeezed spring onion juice. She’s so messed up.

However, Vyro’s mouth warped into a smirk as he looked at my face.

… If only I could show this face to the court ladies who love you so much.

“So you’re saying you’ve become capable enough to do the housework by yourself? You’ve finally overcome your boundless clumsiness?”

“Don’t call me clumsy! I’m average!”

“You remember how so much equipment was mysteriously broken in the first week you joined? I secretly compensated for all of it.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ugh, I can’t win against him!

Why do I always break things and bend things!?

If I had fixed that habit I wouldn’t have had to work at a castle… my eyes had a faraway look as I imagined a future that could’ve been.

Vyro made a sweet, confident smile. Some court ladies had walked by, faces red as they looked away. Piss off. Why’s it always the guys with the darkest of hearts that look like this? Go get some scars and make your face more gnarly and evil-looking so it’s easier to tell what you’re like inside. Do it for me. For my happiness.

“So anyway, could you clean my mansion some time?”

“Why!?”

“You want me to tell Princess Iris that you’re the one who broke her favourite blue vase?”

“I will thankfully clean every nook and cranny of your house.”

If the violent princess found out about that, I’d have no tomorrow.

You better watch out, Vyro! I’m bound to find something I can use against you if I clean your house! I’ll be looking out for any embarrassing diaries you’ve got!

“Gee thanks. My servants don’t want to clean our century-old basement. Apparently, they hear weeping when no one’s inside, or people’s shadows appear on the walls.”

“Bury it! You don’t need that basement!”

Don’t make me clean it! It sounds like bones would come out if I accidentally broke a wall!

Vyro watched me breathe heavily as he giggled and waved off.

“I’m just kidding. If you broke a wall I’d have to plaster it up with you inside.”

… He just declared he was going to kill me, right?

I’m no exception, but this pervert was a terrible person. Is this country alright?

Finally, the bell for the civil officials to get to work rang. I sighed and smiled as I was free.

Vyro shook his head regrettably and turned back. Yeah! Go to work already!

However, at the very end, he snapped his fingers as if remembering something.

“Oh… that reminds me, since Princess Iris was searching for her blue vase, I told her, ‘maybe a clumsy person in the castle broke it.’ You should probably get running if you know anything about it.”

“You already told her!?”

This guy’s the worst! I swear he’s just out to kill me. What did I do for him to bully me like this!?

Vyro walked off, suppressing his laughter. I was left with an unpleasant silence.

… If it weren’t for Miss Dyna… I would’ve left this country ages ago. My lifespan was decreasing by the day.

But for now… for now, I need to get through the rest of the day! Fortunately, the violent princess was easily cooled as she was angered. If I could just get through today, I would be fine.

I ran down the hallway, hiding in the shadows of the pillars

Why can’t I get a break at home or at the castle… I thought, as I tried my hardest to escape reality.

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