Chapter 16

### Chapter 16: The Idol's Technique That Never Fails

It was true that the A&R team had a meeting just about "Turn on the Light." The rough part distribution had already been decided, and there were a mountain of revision suggestions. Even the comeback schedule was somewhat set.

Since the title song meeting ended quickly, they continued the meeting to discuss the details of "Turn on the Light."

Just as the meeting ended, a link from the support team arrived.

[TRV Counseling Center Introduction. Please contact this number via text or call, and we will arrange a consultation as soon as possible.]

It seems that Park Hee-taek's promise to do everything we ask for wasn't an exaggeration.

Although I feel like I've recovered and don't need a consultation, I can't predict when my mental state might collapse, so I carefully saved the link to the counseling center.

Anyway, for the time being, I plan to stay away from the internet, including comments. When I was in Kukseon-a, I was too young. Even though nothing changed, I used to read every single negative comment every day. Back then, I was under the illusion that it could correct me.

But now, I realize that not seeing them is the answer.

* * *

The journalists and fans are still bombarding the company with messages asking if I'm really joining. I emphasized to the members several times to be careful with what they say.

"Let the company handle the response. Don't do anything. Only do it when we say it's okay. Got it?"

"But hyung, why are you still driving?"

We were all in one car, heading back to the dorm, and Min Ji-ho asked. I replied.

"I'm the manager until the contract is signed."

At my words, the quiet Ahn Ju-won spoke up.

"Then sign it quickly and come back."

"Hey, is the legal team just sitting around? We need to review everything."

If the resistance is too strong, we might have to include a clause in the exclusive contract that prevents me from joining, so it might take some time for the contract to pass through the legal team.

Anyway, the members were excited about the next activity and were noisy. They were playing "Turn on the Light" and starting to sing their parts. I felt embarrassed by the guide I had written.

During the meeting, they redistributed the parts, and I got a bit more. It seemed like I needed to sing, so I started my part. Instead of singing, Hwang Sae-bi looked at me in surprise.

"Hae-won, you can't sing today. Your voice is off."

…Is that a compliment? An insult? Both?

While I was conflicted, Park Seon-jae said.

"But you sound more stable than usual."

It seems like he won't say I sound good even if he dies. I know, I know.

Anyway, a healthy body houses a healthy mind. Since my vocal cords are healthy, I feel more confident about my singing. But if I overdo it, my vocal cords will get damaged, and it will be torture for others to listen, so I didn't.

When we arrived at the dorm, I was about to leave the kids, but Min Ji-ho turned me around.

"How can you just leave on a day like today?"

"What do you want? You can't drink with me anyway."

Among the members, only Hwang Sae-bi is old enough to drink. I grumbled.

"Ha, when will they grow up and drink with us?"

Next to me, Shin Ji-won sneered.

"Wow, you sound so grown-up. Hyung, weren't you born almost at the end of December?"

"December 28th."

"If you were born a few days later, you'd be the same age as me."

"No, you'd have to be born 8 months earlier to be the same age, which is impossible."

I remember arguing about this with Shin Ji-won during Kukseon-a. Since I'm already friends with Ahn Ju-won, I need to sort out the family tree.

Meanwhile, Park Seon-jae took out snacks he had bought in a box. With four high school students, the food disappears as if there are more people hiding in the dorm.

Min Ji-ho and Park Seon-jae were making something cake-like with the snacks. Ahn Ju-won put his hand in one pocket and used the other to take out a few and stack them neatly. Clearly, as a design major, he can stack snacks more attractively than others.

Since we had matches but no lighter, everyone looked at me. I took out a lighter and lit the candles. Han Hyo-seok suddenly said.

"But Hyung Hae-won, you have to quit smoking once you join."

"Huh? What?"

Did I hear that wrong?

"Most places are now smoke-free zones. Do you think idols will go outside to smoke in designated smoking areas?"

As I frantically thought, Hwang Sae-bi said.

"Don't even think about smoking in the car."

"Wait a minute."

"Quickly blow out the candles."

I hadn't thought about quitting smoking… I blew out the candles, and the members giggled, seeing how upset I was.

After that, everyone rushed to the sofa without hesitation. There are 7 people, but only 3 seats on the sofa. It's a fierce competition. No one even thought about going to take a shower or sleep. They seem to enjoy gathering together.

I was a step late and sat on the floor. While eating snacks, Hwang Sae-bi asked.

"But how are we going to handle the stage?"

"I don't know. I haven't thought about it. If it doesn't work, we'll cause a broadcast accident."

Min Ji-ho said from the side.

"Wear a mask."

"Isn't that a bit strange?"

"Still, we have to get on stage."

As we talked, the snacks disappeared quickly. When the members tried to get more, Han Hyo-seok said.

"No, we need to manage it."

"Ah, let's eat a bit today."

Min Ji-ho started an argument, so I covered his mouth and said to Han Hyo-seok.

"At least one of these My Way members is FM, which is fortunate."

At my words, Han Hyo-seok paused and looked at me.

"Why?"

When I asked, Han Hyo-seok said.

"Because now I have someone to listen to my side."

Hearing that, I thought Han Hyo-seok must be tired too. Honestly, the guys here are not good at following orders.

"There's no one in the world who does everything they want and succeeds."

Han Hyo-seok's serious words made the atmosphere heavy. Although he's not good at breaking the mood, his words carry weight.

Han Hyo-seok attends the best arts high school in Korea, a prestigious path for artists. It's easy to imagine how hard he must have worked to get there.

Being an idol was a path he chose by giving up on that.

Just as the seriousness was broken, Min Ji-ho started bickering.

"I want to do music."

"That's not what I meant."

"What? Which part isn't?"

Another argument, again.

I was tired and said.

"Hey, if you're going to keep fighting, just have a proper fistfight. We don't have a schedule today."

"……"

"……I'll just win."

At Han Hyo-seok's words, Min Ji-ho snorted.

"Are you crazy?"

"I have a major, and my muscle mass is incomparable."

"Hyun-sik, fighting isn't about muscles."

"Call me Hyo-seok, Han Hyo-seok."

They kept bickering until the end. Ah, kids. When will they grow up?

* * *

In the end, it was too late to go home, so I slept on the living room floor. It was the first time I had a proper sleep since being woken up by Park Hee-taek's call on Sunday, and my mental state was good, so I fell asleep almost immediately.

When I woke up, the others were all sleeping soundly. I was the only one with an external schedule today, so I woke up Shin Ji-won.

When I quietly shook him, Shin Ji-won, still half-asleep, opened his eyes.

Today was the last shooting of the web drama he had been filming since the beginning of the year.

Although he has no interest in acting, with the success of First Light uncertain, the company pushed him into acting.

Shin Ji-won, who has been persistently pushing for a role as a thug, felt wronged. He probably looks different from others when he looks in the mirror.

Shin Ji-won's acting schedule was managed by a manager from TRV's actor management. The manager called to say that Shin Ji-won had left without his wallet. I took the wallet and went to the car.

When I opened the car door, Shin Ji-won had X Live on, as today was the last shooting. He looked at the camera and said.

"I almost left my wallet. No, I don't mess up. I just forgot today. Why do you keep saying I mess up?"

While reading the chat and bickering with fans, Shin Ji-won reached out to me.

Ah, I came to give him the wallet.

I was frozen, but I quickly handed over the wallet. My hand was weak, and it fell to the ground.

I quickly picked up the wallet and gave it back to Shin Ji-won. My hands were trembling. When our eyes met, he stiffened but then smiled professionally.

"Wow, thank you. My manager brought my wallet."

While Shin Ji-won was talking, I quickly closed the car door.

Oh, this is a big problem.

According to the plan approved by the company, I don't have to perform on stage, but I have to appear in the company's own variety show.

I was planning to actively draw attention, but as soon as I realized Shin Ji-won was doing X Live, my body tensed up, and my hand went weak when I handed over the wallet.

I have to start filming the variety show within two weeks, and I can't do it in this state.

* * *

The scene of me handing over the wallet was almost immediately edited and uploaded to some SNS platforms after the X Live broadcast.

[Shin Ji-won doesn't look like that, but he's surprisingly forgetful]

[Manager is so OCD lol]

[But why are his hands so pretty lol]

[Is he a national threat? He might join]

[→Is he really going to do it?]

[→→I have to admit, he has a strong mental state lol]

[→→→He's the type who doesn't care about others...]

[But why are his hands shaking?]

[→Is he on drugs?]

[→No way lol]

[→→This is too much. Drug users can't have such clear skin]

[→→Then why is he like that?]

[→→→He must be nervous]

[→→→→Look at his eyes. He doesn't seem like the type to get nervous]

[But I've never seen his eyes]

[That's true]

[Has his face ever been shown?]

[He always wears a mask and a cap when he's with the kids]

[Is it okay for the manager to act so suspiciously...?]

* * *

This is a big problem.

Since TRV is already preparing the variety show based on my presentation, I can't delay it any further.

I tried taking a picture of myself with my phone camera, just in case. It felt fine, but when I tried to take off my cap and mask to take another picture, my hand went weak again.

"…Damn, I can't even take a picture of myself?"

I hadn't used a camera for two years, so I didn't expect this.

This… is really bad?

I put my cap and mask back on.

After that, I took a bus to Yang Yi-hyung's studio, and Hwang Sae-bi called. As soon as I answered, he asked.

-Where are you?

"I'm on my way to the studio. Ah, good timing."

I continued.

"I can't even take a picture of myself with my camera. So, I'll send you 20 selfies and a video over a minute long by the end of today. If I can't, I'll give you a million won."

Hwang Sae-bi, who probably called out of concern after hearing from Shin Ji-won, sounded a bit surprised.

-…That's intense.

"Yeah, it has to be. I'm tired of being a hikikomori."

Some people might think that avoiding trauma is the best and smartest solution. But after avoiding it for two years, I'm tired of it.

It's better to fail than to be stuck in my room again.