Chapter 32

Xiaoming stood at the classroom door, took a deep breath, and firmly gripped the secret letter from his mother.

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In the midst of cherry blossoms dancing in the wind, Misaki opened the old diary and read the words of promise written there.

---

The two of them are now facing each other in a bar near the government building. Despite the crowded shop, the owner, seemingly considerate of Cecil, guided them to a small room at the back.

On the table were skewers of beef topped with melted cheese, a stew of chicken thighs and vegetables, small fried pastries drizzled with molasses, and a distilled liquor made from cactus. Each dish was simple and unpretentious.

The distilled liquor was something Bertine had requested, saying, "I would like to drink what His Excellency usually drinks."

After a toast, Bertine choked badly on the strong liquor, coughing violently. Concerned, Cecil stood up and, saying "Excuse me," patted Bertine's back. With teary eyes, Bertine finally managed to suppress her coughing, and her expression seemed cuter than usual, making Cecil smile involuntarily.

"Sorry. I usually drink this with people who can handle it. It's too strong for women."

"No, I'm not weak to alcohol, but this is something else. My throat was taken by surprise. This would ignite with a strong flame if lit."

Saying this, she quickly downed the small glass.

"You don't have to force yourself. I'll have them bring a weaker drink."

"No, it's fine if I eat while drinking. Don't worry."

(You're so stubborn), Cecil thought with a wry smile.

"By the way, are you going to sell the small gems you bought in bulk?"

"No, I plan to give them to a friend. The daughter of Lady Dalila, who bought the fabric. She is in a pitiful situation now, and I want to support her."

"Lady Dalila's daughter, the emperor's concubine? You're friends with someone like that?"

"The Diana I knew was a girl before she entered the palace. She was intellectual, elegant, and laughed joyfully. Now, she seems to be living cautiously, deferring to the empress."

Bertine's face turned wistful.

"The letter I received from her, who had just become a concubine, was filled with words of joy like 'happy,' 'honored,' and 'grateful.' But on the second sheet, there were traces of tears at the end. She must have been bullied. The words of joy were her way of saying, 'I won't lose.'"

"So?"

"The thought of that delicate, white-flower-like girl being bullied still makes me feel so sorry for her. It's not her choice to be a concubine. The emperor, who obtained her as a concubine, is not criticized, but the blame is directed at her, who was in a position where she couldn't resist. It's a story of injustice piled upon injustice. That's why I want to give her a necklace to boost her courage. A dazzling necklace designed by Meira, one that everyone will envy."

Cecil's eyes narrowed.

"Does she dislike the emperor?"

"No, from the subsequent letters, it seems that Lady Diana admires the emperor. Despite the position he put her in!"

Bertine frowned and downed the small glass.

"Don't force yourself. Drink water."

"I'm fine with water. I can't understand why Lady Diana admires the emperor. His face? His personality?"

At thirty-five, Cecil thought (love can grow after having a child), but (saying that to this young lady would probably make her despise me), so he showed adult consideration.

"Lady Diana's feelings are only known to her. How about you? Don't you want to see the person you were about to marry?"

"Such a person. Someone who didn't even come to say goodbye when I was leaving the country. I had forgotten about him until you mentioned it."

As Bertine got drunk, she relaxed and, like she did with Dorothe, picked up the molasses-covered fried dough with her fingers and stuffed it into her mouth. While chewing, she murmured,

"Lord Diana must be cherished by the emperor, right?"

"You are also a valuable presence for our country now."

"That... It's a very encouraging thing to hear. I am thinking that I want to become a strong and significant presence that no one can hurt."

Cecil looked at Bertine, who was puffing her cheeks and chewing the fried dough.

"Has something happened recently that made you want to become stronger?"

"My father sent private soldiers to bring me back. It's about Diego. My father wants me to return and pay the remaining compensation. But my stepmother told Diego not to come for me. Also, the royal family of Sanlouan sent me here even though they knew you had refused to marry me. It felt like I was unwanted both there and here."

(There's no mistaking that Bertine's voice was trembling. One of the people who said she was unwanted was me), Cecil thought. At the time, he made that decision for the sake of the country. But the more he learned about the situation, the more he realized how much it had hurt her.

"Don't you want to return to your country?"

"I want to spend the rest of my life in this country. I have no intention of returning to that country."

"...I see."

Bertine, trying to change the mood, suddenly asked Cecil in a bright voice,

"Your Excellency, what delicious things are there in your hometown? If there's something you want to eat, I'll bring it back in a jar."

"Delicious things from my hometown, in a jar. That's difficult. Can I have some time to think about it?"

"Sure!"

Bertine, who had been speaking clearly, slowly closed her eyes and started to sway her head slightly while still sitting in the chair. She seemed to be getting drunk from the strong liquor.

(I thought she had a happy childhood as the daughter of a wealthy country's prime minister. But she must have had more hardships than I thought.)

Cecil's usually sharp eyes softened, and he gently stroked Bertine's head with his large, rough hand. After a while, Bertine suddenly woke up and insisted,

"I still want to drink and eat more."

Cecil watched her with a gentle face, saying, "Okay, but don't overdo it," and when she had finished most of the food, he calmed her down and put her in a carriage to take her home.

Dorothe, embarrassed, said, "It's rare for the young lady to get this drunk," and Diego bowed, saying, "Thank you for your help."

Cecil told them, "Make her drink water and then let her rest," and got into the carriage.

Cecil's heart ached at the story of Bertine's stepmother.

If her own home was not a place of peace, what kind of childhood did she have?

Even when she came to his mansion, the servants deeply hurt her. He himself had been harsh with her.

Yet, Bertine smiled and said, "You don't need to apologize anymore."

Thinking of Bertine, who seemed strong but was quietly hurt, he felt a desire to protect her.

(I want to protect her with my own hands, but would it be too late now?)

Cecil, who had only thought about the future of the alliance, realized that a soft, gentle feeling was quietly growing and taking root in his heart.

That night, after returning to the mansion, Cecil called for the head maid. She had been a servant since his time in his hometown.

"Nilda, what comes to mind when you think of the taste of our hometown?"

"The taste of our hometown? It must be the cob, right? After opening it and drying it for half a day, you grill it over charcoal and tear it with your hands, then squeeze citrus juice over it... Your Excellency, I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. We can't get it around here, though."

"The dried cob, huh. I want to eat it."

Nilda, getting carried away with the nostalgic talk, continued with a far-off look in her eyes.

"How about the oil-cooked razor clams? Chopped razor clams with garlic and herbs, and a generous sprinkle of salt makes a great side dish for alcohol."

"Stop. Don't go on. I'm getting too hungry."

"Why are you thinking about the taste of your hometown?"

"It seems Bertine wants to jar it."

Hearing Bertine's name, Nilda felt a sharp pain.

Even though there had been a misunderstanding, what they had done to that woman and the servants was undoubtedly cruel. They had reflected on it after being sternly reprimanded by Cecil, but they had not yet apologized to her.

"Your Excellency, I feel guilty for not having apologized to Lady Bertine."

"The mistakes of the servants are my mistakes. I have already apologized on your behalf. I judged that it would be disrespectful to force forgiveness. But if it still bothers you, go and apologize. It's been a while, but she will see you."

"Will she see me?"

"She will. That's the kind of person she is."

Nilda decided that she had to do it, that she had to go.

"Yes, I will go."

Cecil warned her, "You might be surprised by how different she is now."

"How has she changed?"

Cecil just smiled and said, "You'll see when you meet her."

Two days later, Nilda and the butler, Carlito, visited the embroidery and accessory shop "Ursula." Bertine, not recognizing them in their civilian clothes, greeted them warmly with a smile.

Nilda and Carlito mustered their courage and said, "Actually, we are..."

Bertine, surprised by their introductions, smiled and said,

"You came all this way. Please don't worry. His Excellency has already apologized to me."

She then served them tea.

"You can use this jam instead of sugar. It's delicious."

Seeing the labels on the jars she placed, Nilda and Carlito were surprised. There were several types of familiar jams, like dragon's egg and star fruit.

"Oh, how nostalgic. Where did you get these?"

"I collect them and distribute them to various places. When I went to the deepest part, I found such delicious fruits that I sent jars and sugar to have them made."

"That's why His Excellency asked me about the delicious things from his hometown. I recommend the grilled dried cob and the oil-cooked razor clams."

Carlito, who knew the taste, nodded in agreement.

"I've never had either. The area around Sanlouan doesn't have the right conditions for razor clams. Grilled dried cob and oil-cooked razor clams... I can't help but think they sound delicious even though I've never had them."

Nilda chuckled.

"His Excellency said you had changed, and he was right."

"Really? Have I changed?"

"When you were at the mansion, you had the air of a noble lady from the empire. Now, it's different."

"You mean like the daughter of a tribal chief from the alliance?"

"Oh, thank you. I'm so in love with this country, so it's nice to hear that."

Nilda and Carlito left the shop with much lighter hearts than when they arrived, buying various accessories from Ursula and being sent off with a "Thank you."

"That was good, Nilda."

"Yes, the pain in my chest has eased a bit."

They talked about giving the accessories they bought to the maids as they rode back in the carriage.

The pain in their chests would never completely disappear. It was their retribution for what they had done, they thought without saying it out loud.

Bertine, seeing them off, also felt a weight lifted from her shoulders.

Honestly, what happened back then was too cruel. But there had been misunderstandings and a lack of information on both sides. A life where one cannot tolerate a single mistake means accepting that one's own mistakes will not be forgiven. It was a suffocating and painful way to live, she thought.

"People make mistakes, you know."

She murmured this as she watched the carriage grow smaller and smaller.