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Yang Youming’s “Gradual Distance”

On the night he joined the “Gradual Distance” filming crew, Yang Youming met Xia Xingcheng for the first time in a hotel corridor.

He’d heard of Xia Xingcheng’s name before. He’d seen pictures of him, but never his works. He had no recollection of what the person looked like in real life, so in the dimly lit corridor, he gave this young man a surreptitious once-over.

His pretty face had a youthful feel to it; he looked younger than his actual age. In a different set of clothes, he could probably play the role of a high school student. Neither his looks nor temperament were that exceptional in the industry, but they should have met He Zheng’s requirements.

It was Xia Xingcheng who struck up a conversation with him first, face flushed and voice faintly shaky. The air was laced with the smell of alcohol—he’d probably had one too many drinks.

Yang Youming could sense Xia Xingcheng’s nervousness. Xia Xingcheng said that he’d always liked him, and as they shook hands, Yang Youming came into contact with a sweat-soaked palm. Yang Youming had run into many, many of these types in the industry—young actors who expressed their admiration towards him, told him they were his fans—and among them, Xia Xingcheng wasn’t particularly special, so he only smiled and said a few words of pleasantries, polite yet distant, before entering his hotel suite. After all, he had just been on the road for several hours, and the exhaustion had gotten to him.

At that time, Yang Youming had just gotten divorced. If he didn’t count the six months they lived apart, he was married to Yuan Qian for two years, and those two years had drained him to the bone. He would even sometimes think that accepting Yuan Qian’s pursuits in the first place and marrying her was a mistake—a mistake he was not willing to make a second time.

They were already on the film set the next time Yang Youming saw Xia Xingcheng, and the first scene they had to shoot was an intimate one.

He understood He Zheng’s intentions. The movie revolved entirely around Fang Jianyuan and Yu Haiyang’s relationship; the two of them had many more intimate scenes to come. Forget about two men—even if it were a man and a woman, it was inevitable that they’d feel awkward and have trouble getting into character at the start of filming. In this intimate scene, Xia Xingcheng was entirely passive, and all he had to do was bring Xia Xingcheng into the scene. Shooting such a scene needed no effort on his part, because he wouldn’t be needing much of a response from the other party. As for kissing and touching a man, the way he saw it, acting was just acting, there was no room for embarrassment.

As for Xia Xingcheng, his inexperience was as plain as day.

Yang Youming sensed his nervousness right from the start, but that nervousness was in line with what Fang Jianyuan felt in the scene and he only needed to react instinctively.

They shot the kiss scene. It was the first time Yang Youming shot a french kiss with a man, and it felt quite wonderful. Since Xia Xingcheng was tall, he only had to bow his head slightly to kiss him. Xia Xingcheng had almost no response—he was even moving a little stiffly—but his lips were unexpectedly soft, and they tasted faintly of peppermint. He’d probably chewed some gum before filming. His mouth still had a trace of sweetness.

It wasn’t the least bit discomfitting nor disgusting. Xia Xingcheng was a clean and refreshing young man, his eyes soft and docile. Perhaps he really was too tense.

He kissed Xia Xingcheng’s neck—kissing lightly, for fear of leaving marks. His Adam’s apple protruded, and when Yang Youming licked it, he felt Xia Xingcheng’s body shudder.

When Yang Youming backed away from Xia Xingcheng, he couldn’t help but think: How sensitive.

The bed scene that followed required Xia Xingcheng’s cooperation.

Yang Youming had heard He Zheng mention in private that this was Xia Xingcheng’s first movie, so Yang Youming was prepared for it. He patiently guided him, helping him get into character.

The scale of this kiss scene was even higher than the previous one. Yang Youming lifted the hem of Xia Xingcheng’s shirt, and when he kissed his chest, he subconsciously thought: so this is how kissing a boy’s body feels like. It wasn’t that soft, but his skin was sensitive and supple, his chest and belly flat and taut. He didn’t mean to, but he’d accidentally touch the small nubs on Xia Xingcheng’s chest, and felt him tense up even more.

Yang Youming was a little distracted, so he simply relied on his top-tier acting skills to make his actions seem seamless, when in fact, he wasn’t absorbed in his role nor the performance at all. He was merely taking in this novel intimate scene, even noting the way Xia Xingcheng’s fair skin flushed red all over. That red expanse was all the more apparent with his skin being so pale; it spread from his neck all the way down to his chest, like he was shy—like he was aroused.

On the first day of filming, Xia Xingcheng had already left a rough impression on Yang Youming’s mind. His acting was indeed raw—though he’d had professional training and had already been acting for six years, those six years were probably spent making little to no progress, and despite the fact that he had two feet in the industry, he had yet to brake through the door of the acting world.

However, Xia Xingcheng was easy to guide. Yang Youming found that he could empathise very strongly. With just a little nudge, he could immerse himself in his character and feel his character’s joys and sorrows vividly. This performance, in a sense, was a reflection of his true feelings.

He Zheng’s directing had its shortcomings, and Yang Youming knew them like the back of his hand. A newcomer like Xia Xingcheng would stumble along at first; his mind would be rife with stress, and the subsequent psychological suggestions would even affect the entire filming process.

When all was said and done, Yang Youming was the lead actor, and he didn’t want the filming progress to be repeatedly held up by Xia Xingcheng’s performance either, so he would take the initiative to give him pointers, helping Xia Xingcheng find his filming rhythm.

He just didn’t expect that that night, Xia Xingcheng would spontaneously seek him out in his hotel room.

Xia Xingcheng was seemingly drunk, and the enthusiasm and familiarity he exuded slightly made Yang Youming uneasy. For a brief moment, he mistook Xia Xingcheng for a lovely pet dog. He touched Xia Xingcheng’s head as he passed through, and Xia Xingcheng followed him in, trying his best to convey his favourable impression of him.

With his personality, Yang Youming was unaccustomed to dealing with people like Xia Xingcheng, thus he bluntly told Xia Xingcheng that he wanted to draw a clear line between work and personal feelings. Seeing the trace of disappointment in Xia Xingcheng’s expression, he privately sighed before explaining his views on acting.

He was aware that with Xia Xingcheng’s current acting abilities, it would be very difficult for him to obtain He Zheng’s approval, but Xia Xingcheng had a natural gift for acting—he could immerse himself in his character with his strong empathic ability. He thought, if Xia Xingcheng felt a ton of pressure while filming, then why not just try to immerse himself even more? He wouldn’t have to foster his moods on set, and if he really tried embodying all of Fang Jianyuan, it would drastically reduce the back and forth between his role and his own emotions.

He thus suggested for him to live as Fang Jianyuan.

That night, Xia Xingcheng left in an apparent dazed state. Inwardly, Yang Youming felt a little apologetic. He thought that perhaps he could’ve been a little more tactful, and considering the fact that Fang Jianyuan had a sorrowful ending, would Xia Xingcheng’s mental state be negatively impacted in the latter half of filming? In the end, was it right for him to suggest such a thing?

But portraying their roles well was the most basic requirement for an actor—if Xia Xingcheng couldn’t even get into character, couldn’t at least try, what qualifications did he have to be one?

Immersing yourself too deeply in the act would cause you certain pain, but if he wanted to become an actor, this was an unavoidable path; there was no other option.

Filming gradually progressed smoothly.

Yang Youming would often observe Xia Xingcheng from afar and find that he was gradually slipping into character. Fang Jianyuan–this role–was originally just a series of words on the pages of a script, but now, Xia Xingcheng was slowly bringing him to life.

It was at this time when Yang Youming saw Xia Xingcheng intimately embracing a girl in front of his room, right as he opened his door early one morning.

This was actually quite normal among film crews. Yang Youming had also seen actors from his previous movies bring people back to the hotel for the night, with some even cohabiting long-term. But this was the first time Yang Youming felt somewhat surprised—he had always assumed that Xia Xingcheng was a sensible young man.

He didn’t say anything because there was nothing wrong with a consensual one-night stand. He was even less interested in a stranger’s business, so he turned around and walked away.

As a result, that day’s filming got off to an inauspicious start for Xia Xingcheng.

He Zheng had no idea what was going on. As the NGs kept piling up, he grew more and more irritated.

Perhaps only Yang Youming fully understood the state of Xia Xingcheng’s mind. Moreover, he had a faint feeling that Xia Xingcheng’s current mood was caused not only by his decision to set aside his role to go to bed with a girl, but also because he had bumped into Yang Youming this morning.

Yang Youming had the impression that Xia Xingcheng cared about him in the same way that Fang Jianyuan cared about Yu Haiyang.

When everyone left for lunch, Xia Xingcheng stayed behind. Originally, Yang Youming had already stepped out of the studio, but then he patted Li Yun’s shoulder and headed back alone.

He saw Xia Xingcheng lying on Fang Jianyuan’s narrow bed with his eyes closed.

Yang Youming fixed his gaze on him. He hesitated for a moment before he noiselessly made his way over, fishing out the cigarette and lighter he had on him and lighting the cigarette with a snap of the lighter.

He wasn’t actually much of a smoker. At that moment, he simply wanted Xia Xingcheng to confuse him with Yu Haiyang.

Sure enough, Xia Xingcheng’s eyes flew open the moment he heard the lighter, and he sat up immediately.

Yang Youming sat on the bed, took a drag of his cigarette, then offered it to Xia Xingcheng.

Xia Xingcheng was clearly somewhat thrown off; he didn’t take Yang Youming’s proffered cigarette.

Yang Youming thus retracted the cigarette and wedged it back between his lips, then raised a hand and squeezed Xia Xingcheng’s nape. There were thin strands of hair on his neck, like the soft, fine hairs of an animal. With his head bowed, he looked like a small animal slightly shrinking up in fear.

Now this was the Xia Xingcheng that Yang Youming was familiar with—sweet and obedient. He recalled the bed scene they had shot, Xia Xingcheng’s inexperienced reactions, and had trouble imagining what Xia Xingcheng would be like in bed with a woman—it all seemed surreal to him.

Adopting Yu Haiyang’s tone and demeanor, Yang Youming asked, “You like girls?”

He watched as Xia Xingcheng jerked his head back and stared at him with both astonishment and dread.

At that moment, Yang Youming was struck by a sudden ire that shouldn’t have belonged to him. He knew that he was in character, yet he was also faintly relishing in the feeling. He said, “You’ve been very naughty.” Xia Xingcheng had really misbehaved.

It was like Xia Xingcheng’s whole being was in a stupor. He said, “I—”

Not giving Xia Xingcheng a chance to explain himself, Yang Youming said, “I don’t want there to be a next time.”

He then saw Xia Xingcheng grow tame and obedient, licking at his lips with the soft tip of his tongue, before saying, “There won’t be a next time.”

Yang Youming was very pleased with Xia Xingcheng’s response. His caress on Xia Xingcheng’s nape then softened, like he was placating a scared little animal. For a split second, he even thought that he should comfort Xia Xingcheng in his arms, yet in the end, he merely stroked the fine hairs at Xia Xingcheng’s nape, and said, “There’s a good boy.”

Shortly after that, he got up and left.

☆ ☆ ☆

Thank you to Tinsunny and Britener for the kofis!

t/n – here’s the first part of a series of extras about yang youming’s point of view during the filming of ‘gradual distance’, which i’ve been dying to get to the second i found out they existed!! i’m not sure how fast i’ll update, so please be patient~ if anyone wants to reread xia xingcheng’s pov, this chapter corresponds with chapter 4-15 of the main story!

⟵ Chapter 135.2 | TOC | Extra I Part 2 ⟶

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