Chapter 5

---

For someone like Angelica, a prodigy, my work is indeed very clumsy. I am aware of this. I can draw what I see accurately, but there is nothing that touches the heart.

I have won awards in school competitions, but there are people who, despite being technically inferior to me, create works of art that are superior to mine.

Angelica, even back then, was not only technically superior to everyone else but was already creating works that could rival those of professional artists. The 10-year-old Angelica, whom I remember most, was always facing her canvas in a room filled with the smell of art supplies. I think I was told that I lack a sense of hunger because I don't even want to surpass Angelica; I just want to be praised.

Angelica is the kind of person who feels that creating something is the same as "living." I could sense a passion that welled up from within, a love for art that came from the heart, a drive to keep drawing. Something I don't have. I do it because I want to be praised. I don't have anything I want to express.

"I like you, Lilianna, so I can't help but favor you and think your drawings are the best."

Only Anna says that to me. She always praises my works, even those created with such impure intentions, and I always feel a little saved. It's precisely because there is no clear ranking for everyone that it's nice to hear such words.

Even so, the drawing I did today while receiving guidance didn't turn out well enough to be praised. Angelica's words, "You're just trying to draw well, but there's nothing that touches the heart," were so true that I didn't even feel sad. Because I don't even know what's wrong with it.

"You need to see more works and hone your sense. People can only make choices based on the accumulation of experience and knowledge."

"I understand. I will work hard."

I usually use the time commuting to and from school as a break, and I often end up sleeping, but I thought about looking at art books instead.

As I was spacing out, I noticed that Father was also in the room where I was called to have a talk. After greeting him, Angelica and I sat at the table where a tea set was prepared.

The topic turned to the drawing I did today, and when a servant brought the canvas, Father said, "It's not bad, is it?"

"It's no good. Father, you have no artistic sense at all. If you buy a work of this level, people will laugh behind your back. If you don't understand, don't try to evaluate it."

"Angelica, you said irresponsible things about Lilianna's magic, even though you have no magical talent yourself."

"I only said it because I thought it was impossible for me."

"Well, outsiders might think that way. ... Lilianna, don't take the words of someone who doesn't understand to heart."

"... Yes, I understand, Father."

"Father, that's rude."

I know this isn't a compliment. So, I think he's telling me not to get carried away by it.

Please rest assured. Even after being rejected by the top expert herself, I have no intention of believing that the opinion of a layperson is correct.

Generally, my drawings might be considered decent, but I know that they are not worthy of evaluation by an artist like "Angelica." Magic is the same; it might seem amazing to someone who can't use it, but that's all there is to it. I won't take it to heart.

While listening to Angelica's chuckle, I felt ashamed of my inadequacies in every aspect.

This room, where we are having tea as a family, is also used for audiences with the royal family, but it is a private area.

Of course, the paintings hanging on the walls are by Angelica. One of them is a portrait of the first-born prince, who was two years old, standing next to the Crown Prince.

A happy family. Even though the prince is the youngest, he is the first to catch the eye. The painting gives a sense of overflowing light, but it's not blinding. It evokes a feeling of kneeling and begging for love, like being in front of the Virgin Mary in a church.

I realized again that when the artist's feelings are conveyed, it's like this. I wondered if my family would praise me if I could create a painting filled with such feelings.

"So, the girl who will become your stepsister... Nina, right? She's arriving today, isn't she? Bring her to the castle when she's settled."

"... What?"

Stepsister?

I tilted my head in genuine confusion, and Angelica laughed as if it was amusing.

"She's a distant relative. She suddenly developed strong light magic at 14, so they're taking her in for protection. I heard she will attend the same school as Lilianna..."

"No... I haven't... heard anything..."

"Oh, our youngest is... pouting because she's suddenly getting a younger sister? How cute..."

"I really haven't heard anything. ... Father, what are you talking about?"

Angelica must have realized I wasn't joking and stopped mid-sentence. She looked awkwardly at Father, slowly tilting her teacup.

"... You didn't... hear about it? I thought Josephine was taking care of the family matters..."

"When was this decided?"

"I heard they confirmed her power in the provinces and took her in a month and a half ago."

"I see... Mother must have been very busy. So, how should I behave?"

I wasn't young enough to throw a tantrum over not knowing or why. No matter the reason for the oversight, I felt only sadness, but there was nothing to be done about it.

Nina, the girl who was coming to live with us, was arriving today, and I was flustered by the sudden news. She must be the most anxious one, having to adjust to a new environment.

"She lived almost like a commoner in a nearly bankrupt baron's household. Even though she's a distant relative, there's almost no blood connection... After an investigation by the department that manages the royal family's genealogy, the king ordered her to be taken in by our family, which has the power to protect her."

"Light attribute is valuable."

I pretended to understand, but it was no use. The shock of being the only one who didn't know was still overwhelming. Everyone else in the family seemed to know.

"It seems the communication didn't go well. Well, it was sudden, but Lilianna, it's fine, right?"

"Yes, Father. I'm very happy to have a sister."

My mind was a mess, but I often cry inwardly when I don't get praised despite my efforts, so I don't think my smile looked unnatural to them. It was good. I'm always a disappointing daughter and sister who can't meet expectations, so if I had shown my true feelings, I would have disappointed them even more.

Today, Father and I returned to the mansion in the magic-powered car he uses for his official duties. While responding to Father, who was even more quiet than usual, I thought about the new sister I would have.

She must be very confused, having been taken from her family and brought to a duke's household, even if it was for protection, after living almost like a commoner.

My emotions were in turmoil, but I had no ill feelings toward her. I vaguely thought that I wanted to be of some help.

Yes... Mother and Father, and my siblings, are all wonderful people, but they are strict and don't compromise... They are top-notch experts, but it might be a bit tough for someone just starting to learn.

She will suddenly have to change her studies, and it will be difficult, especially since it's my first time being a sister. I thought I wanted to praise her a lot, at least.