19 - Summon the rich to dote on me

Pei Xian went out jogging before dinner every day. This body was too chicken weak and probably never been engage in physical exercise. He could only start with light aerobic exercise.

When he came back from the outside with his whole body dripping with sweat, he caught sight of Gu Han with his necktie hung like a trouser belt and his sleeves casually rolled up, was cornering Gu Caocao with a juicy carrot.

Villain Gu Han: “Gu Caocao calls Dad! What kind of son doesn’t even know how to call Dad? Don’t call, no dinner!”

Pei Xian was shocked by Boss Gu abusing the underage alpaca. He went over in three or two steps to push away the bully Gu. “Mister Gu, Caocao is still a kid, can’t intimidate him.”

Gu Han completely lacked the image of the aristocratic family’s pampered son as he rubbed the carrot on the white shirt and “crunch” bit the bottom of the carrot. “You two are a pair of little liars!”

“Mister Gu, whoever advocates is to provide proof. The bill you signed was your own initiative. What did we lie to you?” Pei Xian slightly raised his chin. The small face which was red after the run looked healthy and lovely.

“You…” Gu Han’s open mouth was rendered speechless by him that Gu Han wished to go over to bite his small cheek.

“Besides, Mister Gu, you cheated me to call “hubby” a few times today, but I considered that as a gift to you.” Pei Xian tugged Gu Caocao’s back, bowed his head and smiled cunningly, “Let’s go, Caocao. We go upstairs to take a bath.”

Gu Caocao appeared very proud and self-satisfied, stuck out its butt at Gu Han and strode with graceful march to follow after to leave.

Holding the carrot, Gu Han put his hands on his hips and looked at Uncle Lin at the door incredibly as he asked: “Is it still me who take unfair advantages?”

After eating, Boss Gu quickly started up the Xbox and the giant screen showed two people’s《Wild Fight》ranking with only ten points difference. The devastated Gu Han was ready to release his nature and beat Pei Xian in the game to vent his anger.

Gu Han proudly shook the controller at him, exercising his wrist. “Dare or not, Xianxian?”

Pei Xian was about to go upstairs but stopped by a voice. Looking back, he saw a face that absolutely deserved a good spanking. They had been fighting hard in this game for a week. It’s time for showdown!

As expected, he was duped to briskly go down the stairs and jumped onto the sofa to grab the controller in a smooth flow. “Mister Gu, please don’t be too proud.”

“Oh ho! I’m so scared.” Gu Han squatted on the sofa, which was his eccentricity of playing games seriously.

Pei Xian had played the game taught by Gu Han, but Gu Han didn’t play the game seriously. Over time, he had a wrong understanding of Boss Gu’s real strength.

Today, his attack was particularly fierce, showing his impatience to kill his opponent. Due to veteran Gu Han’s defense accuracy gap to counterattack and beat him to pieces, he tragically retreated in defeat step by step.

In the last map, when he successfully stole ten eggs from Gu Han and was about to escape, he was knocked to the ground by the other opponent’s combination of fists, who jumped down from the tree. All the eggs he stole were smashed and his score was zero!

“AH! MY EGGS!!” Pei Xian, who rarely broke his calm expression, stood up and yelled.

“It’s all broken!” Gu Han was like a psycho newly released, “HEE HEE HEE!”

Pei Xian played the game as seriously as he did a big business. He thought that his skill was as good as Gu Han’s. All of a sudden, he was angered into a puffer fish due to the fancy hitting [1] by the person who disguised as a pig to eat a tiger.

“Mister Gu, truly hidden and undisclosed [2] .” He squeezed a sentence out of his teeth and couldn’t help but say, “Cheater!”

Gu Han hugged the armrest of the sofa as he laughed so hard he almost ascended heaven. He was sullen for a day and finally vented, “Pei-shao, right back at you.”

“You just dislike me and Gu Caocao for spending your money. Childish! Cheapskate! Gelantai [3] ! Zhou the exploiter [4] !” Pei Xian stood up like a Chihuahua wanting to bite people. “As a man, what do you want to do if you aren’t making money for your wife and son to spend? I’ll tell your mom!”

Gu Han’s brain circuit ran helter-skelter following along his chop logic and suddenly felt scared. “My wife, let’s discuss it properly if there’s anything and I’ll never again beat you. You can’t tell mom about this.”

Pei Xian was the first to return to reason. Terrible, today he was too immersed in the play [drama] that he scolded the boss-cum-hubby! He won’t make me carry a wrapped bundle and scram, right?

Gu Han was into the play [drama] rather deep, his whole face wrote “wife, see what kind of washboard do you like”.

“Properly reflect yourself here.” Pei Xian stepped back with a guilty conscience, taking advantage that Gu Han hadn’t been out of the play, he patted his ass and ran away like a loach.

Panic-stricken, Gu Han took out his mobile phone to offer a reward for his question:

【Excuse me, after violently beating your wife in the game, is there any way to recover? It’s very urgent, waiting online!】

Highly rewarded question by a local tyrant soon attract many consultant pioneers:

【Eat and drink as your will [5] , provide funeral and interment one-stop service: 138】

【Did he [6] say he wanted to tell your mother? Brother, don’t spend money recklessly, save some for yourself.】

【You go out and buy him a hammer to violently beat you too.】

【I’m here only to see who can get the prize for this kind of proposition presentation.】

【Awesome, you have done what I dare not to do. Leave a Wechat, I’ll give the hero bribe money [7] .】

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It’s cold, Zhen feels really cold this time!

Gu Han looked at the rapidly increasing reply of planning to organize a group to attend his funeral service tomorrow. The soft hair on his whole body stood on end as if he had fallen into an ice cave. He wished the time flew backwards so he could go smash the TV! (T/N: so that they won’t have to play the game)

Pei Xian, with his back against the bedroom door, hugged Gu Caocao’s soft fluffy neck. His heart was in turmoil, “Gu Caocao, will your silly Daddy drives us out when he returns to his senses tomorrow?”

“Ohn ohn…” In his arms, Gu Caocao confusedly rubbed against him. Pei Xian’s mobile phone that hung on its neck flashed several Weibo notifications.

As soon as Pei Xian opened it, holy cow, it was so lively! The showbiz’s first “Manic Beauty Wu Qianyi” and “Gu Han’s Male God Xiao Yuhang” were all on the hot search, he scrolled down at the relevant words.

The cause was that Wu Qianyi posted on Weibo that connoted Xiao Yuhang was a gold digger who had dug nothing in the end. After that, she matched it up with hand-drawn ridiculing caricatures; a gallery full of counterfeits, densely packed with sluggish alpacas.

The two had accumulated grudges for a long time and Xiao Yuhang had just returned to China for development. No need to eat melon seed [8] , Conan’s painstaking investigation objective had come to light, as Xiao Yuhang had mentioned his gallery dream many times on the program show and fans had continuously lamented; even Gege’s urine is a special gift in art.

Pei Xian’s radar successfully docked on Wu Qianyi across the screen. This topic queen detonated the news ahead of time to help him. Otherwise, he would be still thinking about how to expand the news to make Xiao Yuhang’s internal injury become an external injury.

He immediately mounted Gu Caocao’s account and sent Wu Qianyi a private message.

【Baa~ Sister, you are so beautiful.】

Wu Qianyi was lying on a soft sofa with her slender legs on the back of the sofa while applying on a face mask. She held up an IAD to watch Xiao Yuhang in tranquil attitude still promoting IK. She could even imagine him at home breathing for oxygen, chanting sutras, taking tranquilizers while continuing to act like an Immortal Man. Refresh explosion [9] !

Eating a cherry in such a good mood until it explode, she who rarely rummaged through the private message suddenly received Gu Caocao’s.

Gu Caocao’s Weibo was very new but the most striking thing inside was a big white alpaca wearing a Sapphire Pendant Necklace that worth more than 200k endorsed by Xiao Yuhang.

She scrolled down, this morning in Haiguang Street….

Dense fog clouded Wu Qianyi’s mind but disappeared in a flash. There was something fishy in it. “Gu Caocao? Interesting, this sister likes you.”

Her bright black eyes rolled and she smiled like fox as she forwarded that gorgeous photo of Gu Caocao:

“Beautiful and rich, sour [10] ! Lemon·jg ”

Gu Caocao’s Weibo followers instantly spiraled into the sky.

Pei Xian stared at the mobile phone and said, “You must be my long lost sister!”

Note:

[1] Fancy hitting is a buzzword, which means that no matter how the cards are played on the opposite side, you are led by your nose.

[2] Hidden and undisclosed is a metaphor for a person who has knowledge but a restrained personality and does not like to show off his talents in front of others.

[3] 葛兰台 [Gě lán tái] sorry, I couldn’t find any info on this.

[4] An archetypal character in short story. (I had previously made a note of this.)

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[5] to enjoy your life; take it easy.

[6] Written in gender neutral pronoun, but it’s Gu Han who read it, so it is ”he”

[7] Give people money to ease the relationship and taking care of others

[8] Eat melon seed refers to bystander who watches the drama unfold (T/N: why does the author used a lot of analogy, metaphor and etc. making my life difficult!)

[9] Explode/explosion seems to refer to vent out feeling. (T/N: I’m a noob at slang and whatnot)

[10] Sour here can mean envious; sick at heart; grieved