20 - Summon the rich to dote on me

Separated by a wall, both Pei Xian and Gu Han were tossing around, having difficulty to sleep all night long. One was scared of getting fired after offended the boss, while the other was designing his own mourning hall.

When the sun rose on time, Gu Han didn’t eat breakfast and pretended to be busy as he ran to the company to take refuge. With a toothbrush in his mouth, Pei Xian stuck close onto the door like a pimp, carefully identifying the movement downstairs. Only when he heard the sound of the garage opening, did he heaved a sigh of relief.

“Caocao must coax your daddy today, or else you’ll change from a billion rich camelid to a homeless trash eater camelid.” Pei Xian stroked its rich white wool back and forth as he sighed.

Gu Caocao seemed to understand. It swayed its long neck and shook its head following the rotary drum of the washing machine.

Pei Xian opened his mobile phone and typed, “When is your husband like you best?”

An indescribable list of recommendations appeared on the screen.

Pei Xian sighed. That’s enough, Mister Gu had never needed this and he was not interested in □□ interaction, ass!

“Like best…. When the wife cooked in apron?” Pei Xian was deep in thought and looked at his pair of slender and delicate white hands. Ah! This was a pair of golden hands that was suitable for cooking fine food. That’s it!

However, he knew his limitation. He asked the aunt to prepare the main course, side dishes and condiments one by one according to the menu, and she even prepared the quantity of oil to use. In a little while, all he had to do was just pour them all into the pot, turned them over and it was accomplished!

The aunt looked at Pei Xian, who could not even hold a knife, and ran to inform the old butler, panic-stricken.

The old butler laughed and told her not to worry about it, whatever kind of love luncheon was love as long as it wouldn’t kill. The young master’s gastrointestinal function was good, so they didn’t need to worry. He also told everyone not to appear in the living room at noon so as not to disturb the masters’ date.

Pei Xian was wearing a pink Peppy apron. He used an IAD to watch food teaching videos in the kitchen.

At this time, unexpectedly Madam Gu came over.

It turned out that yesterday, Gu Han’s Great Demon Secretary Ke reported to Madam Gu without missing a word. Both mother and son had arranged each other an informant to play a spying battle.

After hearing that, Madam Gu let out a long sigh of relief. She was calm on the surface and happy inside.

Humph! Everyone come and see how accurate my judgment is! I ask you, is it accurate or not?! Xianxian really makes me proud!

“Madam.” Uncle Lin rushed out to welcome her.

Last time, Pei Xian went home safely and Gu Han had a deep talk with his mother. Uncle Lin discovered that Madam Gu didn’t reject Peixian and even defended him. This time, Uncle Lin and everyone were very much relieved.

“Pei… Xian is?” Madam Gu walked in with straight shoulders and back, calm and graceful, directly met Gu Caocao’s big eyes opposite her small eyes.

Gu Caocao was an alpaca with dog gene. It was a bit of a doorman that whenever there was a movement at the door, it’d go over.

Uncle Lin had wanted to take it away, but Madam Gu waved her hand at the alpaca and asked: “Gu Caocao?”

“Ohn.” Gu Caocao answered and leaned sideway to give her the little cloth bag hanging on its neck.

Uncle Lin smiled. This little guy is really clever like Young Master Pei, ah . “Madam, it likes you very much. It wants to give you its precious snacks.”

Madam Gu, who liked small animals, was so happy she was grinning from ear to ear. She stroked the big white wool and said with a smile: “Should I praise its filial piety? Hanhan wasn’t even this sensible when he was a kid.”

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Uncle Lin was very surprised of how Madam Gu, a daughter of an eminent family, would make such a jest to recognize an alpaca as her grandson?

“Both young master and Young Master Pei likes it and joking to raise it as their child.” He was nevertheless a bit more old-fashioned and helped to put in a word.

Madam Gu touched the obedient and beautiful alpaca, a spark flashed through in her eyes, “Why don’t I see Pei Xian?”

“Oh, Young Master Pei is preparing lunch for young master in the kitchen. There are twelve dishes!” Uncle Lin said in lowered voice with smile all over his wrinkled face.

“Hm, smart kid knows how to coax people after making trouble.” Madam Gu nodded in her heart and conveniently praised her own wisdom.

She suddenly thought of something and asked in a low voice: “Does Hanhan know?”

“Young Master Pei hasn’t informed [him] yet.” Uncle Lin replied systematically and in full detail.

“Oh…. Then I won’t go in and disturb him. I’m here already, I’ll just ask Hanhan to come back earlier.” With that, she directly contacted her son, which was nothing more than asking him to come home.

This time, Gu Han was so scared he was about to piss himself and his mind was full of bullets flying on his way back.

“As a man, what do you want to do if you aren’t making money for your wife and son to spend? I’ll tell your mom!”

“Did he say he wanted to tell your mother? Brother, don’t spend money recklessly, save some for yourself.”

“Tell your mom! Tell your mom! Tell your mom! Tell your mom! Tell your mom! Tell your mom!”

Gu Han thought that he had turned on the car DVD/AV. He was surrounded by Dolby sound effects and remix rap metal song “tell your mom”!

He ran into the big door, scared and anxious. On the sofa in the living room, the Empress Dowager was sitting in all seriousness, with a profound expression.

Gu Han rushed up with big strides and squatted down at his mother’s knees in cold sweat. “Ma, I was wrong. I shouldn’t beat Xianxian!”

“Ah???” The Empress Dowager was shocked, but she soon calmed down and thought to herself, “That fox demon Xiao Yuhang! What did you feed my son to be this moronic?”

She put down the teacup heavily. “Beat him for spending your little lousy money? Xiao Yuhang had even scraped off your fatty layer, but I never seen you touch his finger ah? Beating someone is bad! You kneel for me!”

Thud . Gu Han straightforwardly knelt like a ripened watermelon, “Ma, I know it’s wrong.”

“Where did you beat him?” Madam Gu was also worried for her son. It seemed Pei Xian wasn’t making a loving luncheon but a farewell dinner party!

Gu Han was a little confused and seemed to think something was wrong. “Head, waist, chest…. and wherever that can be beaten.”

“……” Madam Gu expressed her despair and very much wanted to call the police to punish her own son in the cause of justice!

The more Gu Han thought about it, the more wrong he felt. Those expressions in his mother’s eyes shouted complexity, which contained: “How can I give birth to a scumbag”, “Your papa is going to be angered to live [1] “, “Domestic violence devil go to hell”, “Can this son be stuffed back [into the stomach] now”…….

“Ma, Ma, you wait a minute. What did Xianxian tell you?” Gu Han dragged forward.

Madam Gu dabbed the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief, feeling a little sad. “Pei Xian didn’t say anything. He also cooked for you, twelve dishes! Are you blinded by Xiao Yuhang’s shit? You have no conscience!”

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Gu Han was shocked because his mother hadn’t said coarse words for at least 20 years. But how did this matter involve Xiao Yuhang ah?

“Ma, Ma, don’t worry, Xianxian is fine. We played game and I beat him in the game!” He finally straightened out his thinking. He might have misunderstood the word [beat] when he came in.

“Ah?” The sudden brake put the old lady directly on the IA wall.

“You can’t hit people even if it’s a game!” The embarrassed Madam Gu sprayed all the anger due to comedy of errors [2] on her son’s face.

“Yesyesyes!” Gu Han continued to be pitiable, “We will never play games again.”

The sound of hot oil exploding in the kitchen was extremely intense.

Madam Gu tidied up her appearance and told her son in a low voice, “I’ll go see Pei Xian, and you’ll be in perfectly good performance later.”

Gu Han totally didn’t know what he needed to perform and solely preoccupied to nod like a woodpecker.

Madam Gu walked past the open kitchen and came to the door of the Chinese style kitchen. As soon as she opened the door, she saw Pei Xian holding a pot cover and a spatula, standing far away while fighting with a pot of burnt unidentified substances.

She slammed the door shut and hurried back to the living room to pick up her handbag, “Um…. I suddenly remembered that I had an appointment with Mama Han.”

“Ma, Xianxian has worked hard to cook twelve dishes, you don’t want to eat together before you go?” Gu Han’s face was that of a happy silly boy.

Madam Gu looked at her son lovingly and thought to herself, “My dear son, your Mama I unfortunately can’t enjoy today’s meal. You can work hard on your own, muah, bye!”

She waved as she walked. “No need, I don’t have time.”

Gu Han scratched his head. His mother almost jogged for the last few steps. “Are you in such a hurry?”

The author has something to say:

Narcissistic Maniac Wu Qianyi: Ah! I am so beautiful! Can’t help licking! (__) Heehee….

Wu family’s eldest brother, second brother, third brother…. seventh brothers: Baby Qianyi is right!

Note:

[1] Angered to live (because he’s dead) as oppose to angered to death

[2] 阴差阳错 [yīn chā yánɡ cuò] = comedy of errors; mistake or error due to a strange combination of circumstances