21 - Becoming everyone's Favorite

When the first dish came out of the pan, Pei Xian knew that he should chop off these two golden hands and marinate them into chicken claws!

This time his boast backfired spectacularly. His attempt to grab hold of the boss’s stomach was in vain!

In the dining room, Gu Han sat at the table according to his instruction message and even replied with a very coquettish selfie.

Even the aunt, whose life was saved, was dragged out by Uncle Lin Shu to have a staff dinner party!

Must do it even can’t!

Pei Xian broke the caldrons and sunk the boats [1] . He poured the mantis shrimps which were fried to charcoal sticks into the plate, hoisted the tomato sauce and violently poured it on top.

The charred shrimp carcasses were served with scarlet viscous dressing creating a horror picture.

After that, he came out with duck in a car accident, a self-detonation snakeheaded fish, bleeding shredded pork with bean sprout, rubber-like squids, caved in braised pork balls in gravy sauce, and black toxic scorched choy sum [2] ….. The kitchen ventilator let out a roar from hell.

Pei Xian was beyond belief and didn’t give up. He decorated the dishes of death with carrots, radish flowers, cucumber slices, cherries and little tomatoes like the aunt used to do. He tried to serve in the three aspects of color, aroma and taste, leaving aside the appearance.

Then, he used an exquisite beverage bottle to fill in the special drink — milk, jujubes, wolfberries and sweet fermented rice beer!

It’s accomplished. He even felt a little proud, seeing that he’d cooked all the twelve dishes and the kitchen was still intact. He was truly awesome!

Pei Xian opened the kitchen door and the smoke from hell hovered over his head. He kicked the door shut hard and tried to smile at Gu Han at the dining table nearby.

Gu Han opened a bottle of 1907 “Ship of Silence” from his best collection, a glass worth more than ten thousands that only about 2000 bottles were left in the world. The little quail with a tired smile took a drink first.

Ah! Zhen’s Xianxian’s face, heart and even hands are all beautiful! Who wants a country? Zhen choose beauty, Zhen just wants to be a fatuous and self-indulgent ruler, hehe!

Perhaps Pei Xian was infected with Gu Han, who had been foolishly laughing, he hurried in a few steps, opened his arms wide and leapt up.

Tacitly understood, Gu Han caught the flying pink cannonball safely and spun a few times in place.

Pei Xian looked at his brilliant threatening face and devoted eyes, really handsome! Unfortunately, the boss’s handsomeness was at the cost of his IQ.

Gu Han held him tightly in his arms and was suddenly aware of some smell? Kind of acrid?

“Mister Gu, starting now, you should close your eyes and sit well until I say it’s okay.” Pei Xian struggled to free from his embrace and pointed to the chair.

Gu Han kept in mind that his mother entrusted him to “perform well” and closed his eyes properly.

Pei Xian nodded with serious satisfaction. He busily closed the door, drawn the curtains and lastly, he lit a romantic candlestick in the middle of the dining table.

The marble tabletop with light gold lines on the European dining table reflected the dancing candlelight in the artificial darkness.

Although Gu Han closed his eyes, he could feel the change of light, the corner of his lips rose. He didn’t expect that little quail would play like that.

Pei Xian brought 12 horror dishes to the table one by one. Every time the bowl touched the table, it made a slight noise and he could see the corner of the boss’s lips rising, itching to get on with it.

Ultimately, the dishes were evenly distributed in front of Gu Han. Especially patience, Pei Xian stood in a distant to look at table in whole before he clapped his hands. “Mister Gu can open your eyes.”

When Gu Han opened his eyes, he changed six expressions in three seconds. Finally, panic and despair froze on his face.

The thick curtains sealed the sunshine and six deathly pale candles stood aloft, flickering. In front of them, the fine white porcelains were filled with all kind of unknown bodies, seemingly experienced eighteen kind of Hell’s torture, blood and viscous liquid splashed everywhere.

Gu Han slowly turned his neck as if he could hear the sound of bone friction and then saw Pei Xian beside him with a savage smile, swiftly raising a sharp knife which used to scrap meat from bone, with the frosty snow edge of the blade brought along blue light….

“Please spare my life, Great King!” Gu Han held his head and flashed over the other side.

By then, he heard three crisp sound of “guang” on the table. Pei Xian carefully chopped the steak and placed it on Gu Han’s plate. Next, he sprinkled a lethal amount of black pepper soup, pinched a small tomato and added two pairs of Chinese celery leaves. Perfect!

“Mister Gu can start eating.” Pei Xian, who was absorbed in making cuisine art, totally ignored Gu Han’s miserable shriek.

Being under the impression that he would turn into a cuisine art, Gu Han hugged the back of the chair and shivered in cold. He finally knew why his mother ran faster than a rabbit! It was not a love lunch meal, it was a squaring accounts after the autumn harvest [3] meal!

“Xianxian, I know I’m wrong.” Gu Han piteously begged for mercy.

With the knife raised up, Pei Xian was totally unaware of how horrible the situation was. He blinked his big eyes, “Mister Gu, I’m not angry. I really, really want to cook for you.”

“Ah? Really?” Gu Han bravely flicked away the sharp knife with unknown fluid in front of him.

Pei Xian only found out that the situation was somewhat terrible when his reflection arc returned. Instead of a romantic atmosphere, it resulted in a first-class horror. Where did it actually go wrong?

He scratched his head and hurriedly picked up the remote control to open the sunshade curtain. The sun finally returned to the sky and the shadow of Hell slowly withdrew from the table.

At last, Gu Han could appreciate Pei Xian’s craftsmanship in close range. There were a fragmented duck; a belly exploded snakeheaded fish which died without closing its eyes [4] ; unrecognizable sticks, chunks and round flat cakes of charcoal; and even a steak that you absolutely wouldn’t know what it was. Lastly, there was a big jar of dangerously foaming chemical reagent.

F*…. His soul would most likely return to its origin after eating these!

Gu Han slightly opened his mouth to say something but when he saw Pei Xian’s bright expectant eyes, he didn’t know what to say. Where did he practice this God-like craftsmanship? Was he the disciple of the extinct Emei School’s dining hall?

“Mister Gu, am I not doing well?” Seeing that he tarried, didn’t move his chopsticks or speak, Pei Xian felt a tad disappointed.

Gu Han didn’t have the heart to tell a bare-faced lie, “No, the color, aroma and taste are all completely good!”

Pei Xian’s eyes lit up with ‘Take a bite! Take a bite!’ expectation.

“……” Gu Han gritted his teeth and picked up his chopsticks. He faltered in midair for a long time before finally picked up the blistered choy sum in soy sauce and put it into his mouth with his eyes closed.

Tho thalty [too salty]! He shook uncontrollably because of the saltiness. Eating too salty food would make him lose hair, so he should leave it to Gu Caocao.

“Mister Gu, eat the meat. I made a lot of meat dishes for you.” Pei Xian’s chopsticks were flying on the table, and soon coke products of various colors were piled up on Gu Han’s plate.

Gu Han swallowed his saliva rich in soy sauce and said desolately: “Xianxian, can I make a small request?”

“What else would you like to eat, Mister Gu? I’ll do it for you!” Pei Xian was still relishing in the praise he had received just now, and right now he was feeling as if he was on top of the world!

“Nonono!” Gu Han raised his hands in surrender. “I just want to drink water.”

“Ah, I forgot!” Pei Xian knocked his head and then took a glass and poured him chemical reagent with floating white foam. “This is a nourishing drink I made. Try it quickly.”

Was this f* Mengpo soup? Drank it and his soul would flying away and scattered! Gu Han was completely lifeless.

All of a sudden, the kitchen ventilator gave out an alarm. Pei Xian rushed to see it.

Gu Han turned and called out to Gu Caocao, who was hiding in the corner of the living room. He very shamelessly opened its snack bag forcibly and took out fresh apple strips, carrot strips and long beans from the bag, and then poured a plate of charcoal chunks inside. “You have grown up, my son. It’s time to experience the darkness of the world.”

Gu Caocao thought that he was going to rob its rations, it desperately shrieked, “Ohn, ohn, ohn.”

One person and one camelid were tearing at each other too fiercely that they didn’t notice Pei Xian was approaching quietly.

“Mister Gu, it turns out that you dislike what I make so much.” Pei Xian lowered his head, and unintentionally revealed his hands. The ten fingers, not even sparing the fingertips, were all covered with band-aid.

“……” Gu Han immediately felt that he was a scum. Without the slightest hesitation, he picked up the charcoal strip and tearfully ate it with crunching echoes.

Elated Pei Xian jumped in joy and a small light bulb was visible on the top of his head. “Mister Gu, I have a small, humble, inconspicuous and unimportant wish that I don’t know if it can be realized.”

“Hello, 110? There’s a scam going on at No 1 Bolin Road! No, no, you don’t need to catch him. I beg you to take me away first!!!”

Note:

[1] The same as burn the bridge to cut off all means of retreat

[2] Chinese flowering cabbage; stem of any Chinese cabbage

[3] settle accounts with sb. afterwards; rake things up against sb.; wait one’s opportunity to settle accounts with sb.

[4] die without closing one’s eyes [with grudge unsatisfied]