Chapter 24

Parsed with an automated reader. The content accuracy is not guranteed.

This is a continuation of the last chapter.

Title: A person Satou-san likes

I couldn’t help but stare at Satou-san. She was looking up at me with a strong gaze, and she looked serious and yet somehow awkward. She seemed to be waiting for my reaction, and seemed to be lost for some reason. Her lips are tightly sealed together and do not seem to open for a while. But I couldn’t answer immediately. I didn’t think that Satou-san would ask me such a question.

The distance between us sitting next to each other on the bench is close. Despite the fact that we were exchanging glances, I was now in the mood to run away. My whole face was hot and I lost the ability to think calmly. Come to think of it, the water in the big bath was somewhat hot. Maybe it was because of that, but I suddenly felt hot. And Satou-san’s cheeks were also red and uptight. In the silence of the lobby, the sound of the motor of the vending machine sounded like a ringing in my ears.

I take a sip of my still cold sports drink. Then I quickly racked my brain. When I thought about it calmly and dispassionately – it didn’t seem like a particularly strange question. It’s just the kind of question a girl would like to ask. Satou-san is just an ordinary girl. We’ve talked about it a lot, but it’s just that it’s a topic that has never been mentioned in that conversation. I’ve been asked this question many times by other girls in my class. I’ve never honestly revealed it to them, though, because that kind of thing is usually spread around at the speed of light if it’s accidentally leaked. To begin with, I haven’t had any girls that I like at the moment. There were a few girls that I thought were a bit cute, or fun to talk to, or just a few girls that I would exchange emails with, but that was it. I was far from being romantically involved, and, incidentally, I had never had anyone like me in that way. I was just a normal, standard high school student. It’s not like I was in any way inconvenienced by not having a girlfriend.

So I answered honestly.

“No.”(Y)

It took me quite a while to say just that. When Satou-san, who had been staring blankly at me until now, heard my answer, she exhaled deeply and said

“I see.”(S)

Then she softened her expression awkwardly and said,

“I get asked that sometimes, if you like anyone, Yamaguchi-kun”(S)

“By who?”(Y)

When I asked her with a stammer, Sato-san shook her head as if in a panic.

“Oh, yes, many girls…. I’ve been told to keep it a secret. So it’s a secret.”(S)

“Huh….”(Y)

“You see, I’m sitting next to Yamaguchi-kun and we talk a lot. They thought I knew that kind of thing.”(S)

I wonder if there are strange rumors started in places I don’t know. It’s a bit frightening. I kept my mouth shut and Satou-san continued.

“I don’t know who you like”(S)

The orange juice goes up through the straw. Then she looked at me and tilted her head slightly.

“I was wondering what it would be like if Yamaguchi-kun had someone he liked.”(S)

“Well it’s not a problem.”(Y)

What kind of person do they think I am? I asked back in an uncomfortable tone of voice, as if it was nothing.

“How about you? Is there a person you like?”(Y)

It’s an extended small talk question. It’s only that. I’m not that interested – not that I’m not interested, either. But, I mean, if you don’t want to talk about it, I won’t force you to do so. If you’re willing to talk about it, it’s at the level where you can ask her. Satou-san looked down.

“Yes.”(S)

The voice was faint. But because the lobby was so quiet, I could hear it well. I jerked my gaze around and looked down at her shoulder. Her arms were white, stretching from the sleeves of her T-shirt. They even look pale in the fluorescent light. The same goes for her neck, where the knot in her hair rests.

“You do?”(Y)

My voice, in contrast, was strangely brisk. Sato’u-sans cheeks were white. The blush from earlier had disappeared. Her face was downcast, so I couldn’t see her expression. The hand holding the juice pack did not move from her lap, and she herself barely moved.

“Yes.”(S)

Once again, Satou-san slowly raises her gaze. She turns to me. There was a serious but somewhat awkward and anxious look on her face, even though she was serious.

“Yamaguchi-kun, you see, I–”(S)

She spoke in a hushed tone.

“I do like someone. But you know what?”(S)

She began to speak cautiously.

“But I. I hadn’t talked to anyone about it.”(S)

“Yes…”(S)

“But if it’s you, Yamaguchi-kun, I thought you would listen to me.”(S)

I felt like running away. I wanted to stop Satou-san’s words, even though I had been thinking about asking her. Or I wanted her to run out of here. I have no idea how she felt, but I had a feeling that I knew. Who is it that Satou-san thinks she likes? A lot of things happened. For example, the incident in the infirmary. Satou-san’s murmurings. Or the story of her friend who said she was troubled. Then there was the friend told her about Hokkaido. Then there was the person she said she would think long and hard about it all day before sending a text message to.

“Maybe,”(S)

Satou-san hesitated to continue the conversation.

“Yamaguchi-kun may think it’s strange, but even if you do, I’m glad you’re listening…”(S)

That being said, I couldn’t not listen. I didn’t want to listen to what Satou-san was about to say, but I couldn’t escape now. So I lowered my eyes so that I could at least focus on her voice. Satou-san next to me said.

“I have a guy I like. He’s a very nice guy, he listens to me and teaches me a lot of things. I can’t call him very often because he lives so far away, so we can only communicate by text, but he’s really nice. He knew a lot of things I didn’t know, and we always had a lot of fun talking. He was the kind of person who would just laugh at me when I made a mistake.”(S)

I knew it. As I suspected, the man she liked was someone I didn’t know.

“I’m glad I talked to him for a little while when I called him earlier. I was hoping to see him since I’m in Hokkaido, but that didn’t seem to be possible, but…”(S)

After saying that, Satou-san fell silent for a bit. The next time she opened his mouth, the tone of her voice had dropped.

“But…”(S)

What was that hesitation for?

“I……..”(S)

With my eyes closed I wait for the rest of her words. I wait while I hold my breath.

“I haven’t met that person yet.”(S)

Taking a breath, Satou-san said,

“I don’t even know what he looks like because I met him online.”(S)

And then she continued.

I opened my eyes and involuntarily raised my face as well. Perhaps startled by the spur-of-the-moment action, Satou-san showed a frightened expression next to me Immediately she turned her eyes away from me and continued to speak.

“Well, you know. I promised to meet with him just once. He said he had something to do here…….in our town, so he said he would meet me. It was during holidays, but…”(S)

The memory of the infirmary passes. I guess that’s what she said then.

“I never got to meet him after all…. So I still don’t even know his face.”(S)

Satou-san looks at me anxiously. Maybe she’s wondering what I would think about her love interest.

I was surprisingly calm. I knew what Satou-san wanted me to say. I knew what I could say that would make her happy, or bring her a sense of relief, if not joy. But I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. It was suspicion that drove my supposedly calm mind. I probably understood why you were worried. That’s why I found myself opening my mouth.

“I don’t think that’s…”(Y)

Satou-san’s expression immediately became cloudy.

“I knew it.”(S)

“Yeah, no, I’m not saying it’s wrong.”(Y)

It’s not a bad idea. Maybe that’s just the way it works. I just don’t understand it.

“Is there such a thing as falling in love with someone before you’ve even met them?”(Y)

“Yeah, but it’s not like I’m going to like you just because of your face…”(S)

In a whispering, low voice, Satou-san refutes me.

It was disgusting to hear her say it back. It seems that she doesn’t want to listen to me. Her mind is made up, and there seems to be no room for anyone else to enter.

“Of course that’s true. But how can you trust them if you don’t talk to them face to face?”(Y)

I was good at cutting back sharply. I asked quickly.

Satou-san doesn’t answer.

In her downcast body, I tell her more.

“It’s not that I don’t trust internet connections, but I can’t imagine falling in love with someone I don’t even know. You don’t even know what kind of person they are yet.”(Y)

“Yeah, but…”(S)

There’s a hint of hesitation in the air. Is Satou-san insecure? If she was more or less insecure, why would she try to trust a guy like that?

“But I–”(S)

Suddenly, Satou-san stood up. She took two steps forward, her back face towards me, and said,

“I understand what you’re saying, Yamaguchi-kun. But,”(S)

Her voice was shaky.

“But … I’m sorry, I’m not want to bother anyone.”(S)

“ Satou-san.”(Y)

When I called her name, her single knot of hair, which was almost dry, shook dramatically. The next thing I knew, Satou-san was running out of the lobby. All that was left was me, a pack of sports drinks I’d just finished drinking, and the low motor sound of a vending machine.

When I got back to my room, I forgot all about the juice I gave to Satou-san, and the guys in my room were giving me a lot of flak. But as I was apologizing and laughing. I couldn’t help but laugh. If I didn’t, a strong feeling of regret would have come to mind.

I hurt you, Satou-san.

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