Chapter 7

### Chapter 7: Still

* * *

After the incident was settled, the first thing I did was a paternity test with my father.

At first, my father insisted it wasn't necessary, saying it was just a joke and begging me to let it go, but in the end, it was carried out by my mother's hand.

The result was 99.993%.

Until then, my father had only half-heartedly gone along with this farce, but after this test, it seemed he almost accepted that I was Yoojin.

"...Honey, just to be sure, we didn't have another child, did we?"

"You're talking nonsense again."

"I can't believe it. For Yoojin to end up like this..."

"Like this? Your words are strange. What's wrong with Yoojin? She's just beautiful."

"...You don't understand the heart of a father who has lost his son."

I couldn't really blame him for not understanding.

They say fathers with sons have one dream.

To share a drink with their grown son and pour out their hearts.

Of course, even if that were true, the old me would never have been able to drink, so in a way, my father's dream was always off track.

'Or maybe I was the one who was off track.'

Even though the pain wasn't my fault, I felt a sense of guilt.

While lost in these thoughts, my father's gaze shifted to me.

"You... can walk."

"Yeah."

Even though he must have seen it countless times, the fact that he said it now meant that he finally recognized me as Yoojin.

"Are you in any pain?"

"No."

"The hospital? What did they say?"

My mother answered for me.

"We haven't gone yet."

"...What? Are you in your right mind? Your child is like this—"

"Show our child off like a zoo monkey? I can't do it."

"Like a zoo monkey... You know that's not the case."

"Whatever you say, I'll do what Yoojin wants."

"Ugh..."

Feeling that he couldn't persuade my mother, my father's gaze turned to me.

"...Yoojin, what do you think? Don't you think we should go to the hospital? How do you know there won't be any side effects? You had a seizure, remember?"

He had a point.

After the seizure, my entire body had changed.

The fact that my parents' genes remained was almost a mystery.

I had even felt death instinctively at the time, so if it happened again, who knows what could happen.

But... I still don't like it.

"I'll go if I get sick later. I'm fine now. Really."

"...Stubborn. That's Yoojin."

Father still didn't seem convinced, but if something strange happens, we can go to the hospital then.

At least, that's what I thought.

"Alright, then..."

Father shook his head and checked the time on his smartphone.

"I'm going to the office. You take Yoojin home."

"Got it."

"Dad."

"...Hmm?"

Father reacted a bit late.

No matter how much he knew it in his head, it would take some time to get used to the fact that I was Yoojin.

"...Why?"

"If you ever need a drinking buddy, let me know."

A father's dream with a son.

I don't know what it is, but it can't hurt to listen once.

"Huh."

Father burst out laughing, seemingly finding it absurd.

I laughed along with him.

* * *

The changes started with small things.

"Um... are we eating together...?"

At dinner time, my younger sibling's first words upon seeing me at the table.

"Just speak normally."

"Bro... is a bit strange? And sis... is strange too."

My sibling seemed to have accepted to some extent that I was Yoojin, having heard about the test results from my parents.

Of course, that was only on the surface; a closer look revealed that they still hadn't adapted.

"Just call me bro."

For now, that's what I prefer.

I had never really thought about the issue of titles.

"Is it strange for me to be here?"

"No... We didn't usually eat together, right? I was just curious."

I rarely ate with my family unless it was a special occasion.

There were various reasons, but the main one was the inconvenience and different living patterns.

It was much easier and faster to have my meals on my desk rather than being moved to the dining table, where I couldn't even sit properly.

Moreover, my living patterns were different from the family's, so even if I wanted to eat together, the timing never matched.

Of course, that was the story until now. With the physical restrictions gone, it should be fine to have dinner together.

"I'll try to eat with you from now on."

Like a normal family.

Things I should have done long ago.

"Ah... I see."

My sibling closed their mouth.

They seemed unable to bear the awkward atmosphere.

When we were both silently staring at our smartphones, my sibling broke the silence.

"Bro, I've been curious since yesterday."

"What about?"

"What tint are you using? The color is really pretty."

"...I'm not wearing anything."

"Are you serious?"

Their reaction wasn't surprising.

My face, even to me, was... indescribable.

"How would I know about makeup?"

"Bro, that's a really outdated thing to say. In this day and age, why can't a guy wear makeup—oh."

My sibling seemed to realize something was off and the awkward atmosphere returned.

"What are you doing? Pass this over."

The silence was broken by my mother's call.

It was a fortunate timing.

"Let's eat."

Father said he had to work late because he had taken time off in the morning, so dinner was just the three of us: my mother, my sibling, and me.

"It's delicious."

"Eat more."

Dinner with my family, after a long time, was very delicious.

* * *

"Yoojin, can you wash yourself now?"

Just as I was thinking it was time to wash, my mother's bombshell made me freeze.

"Um... yeah."

"Good, then do that."

With that, my mother went back to her room.

She looked very tired after the events of the past two days.

"..."

But why?

For some reason, I felt a strange distance from my mother.

I had always needed help to wash.

I could manage simple things like washing my face or brushing my teeth, but I needed someone to help me shower.

'Well, it was bound to happen eventually.'

I had become a woman, and the illness that had bound me was gone.

Except for the first part, it was something I had always wished for, and I should be grateful to God.

I need to slowly accept my changes.

I am still Yoojin, but I need to change from what I was.

"Hmm."

It's nothing.

With that thought, I slowly took off my clothes in the bathroom.

The sound of the clothes falling was unusually loud.

With the clothes falling, another me was starkly revealed in the mirror.

"Ah..."

An involuntary exclamation.

Perhaps because I had never properly faced my naked self, the shock was even greater.

The most noticeable thing...

'...Pink.'

The fact that I was thinking this way was embarrassing, but that's what I saw.

The me in the mirror was still unfamiliar and incredibly beautiful.

But now, that's me.

I had to accept it.

"...Ah."

It was strange.

Everything that had happened to me was good, yet I felt tears welling up.

"Ah..."

To prevent the crying from being heard outside, I tried to stifle it.

Instinctively, I understood where this sadness came from.

I was afraid.

Afraid of the changes and the things that would happen to the changed me in the future.

Fear comes from the unknown.

I didn't know that my mother would suddenly distance herself from me.

I thought there would be a little more time.

It was a delusion, an ignorance.

I knew nothing.

That's why I was even more afraid.

"Ah..."

I tried to suppress my sobs.

I straightened my legs, which were bent, and slowly stood up, feeling the blessing that had come to me.

"...Idiot."

A guy crying over something like this.

It's so ridiculous I can't even speak.

But, is it really that way now?

After a good cry, I found my current state quite ridiculous.

"Phew..."

I tried to steady my breathing.

I don't know what will happen in the future.

Many things will change before I can adapt.

Still,

I will live.

* * *