V2C15

The room was very quiet and everything was still there.

Except for that person, and the old small luggage that had been placed in the corner.

Xie Yan couldn't move and couldn't utter anything once he realized Shu Nian was gone.

Xie Yan almost gone crazy, he had been looking all over the world for Shu Nian for the past few days, obviously he didn't left that long, and shouldn't went too far, but he still couldn't find Shu Nian.

He finally understood the feeling of when you are already died in someone's heart and that person refused to see you again, no matter how powerful you are, no matter how much effort you spent, and no matter how you searched in every corner, you still wouldn't be able to see him.

He took out all the things that were left by Shu Nian, hoping to find some trace of that person, by knowing the things that he brought with him, perhaps he could guess where he did he went, or where he wanted to go, or where he could go.

There were very little things in the luggage, there were only two sets of simple clothes, a storybook, and a meager amount of savings. There were also other things, including the ring that he gave Shu Nian.

Xie Yan didn't want to care of anything else, his parents, Xia Jun, the company, and he paid no attention to everything that didn't have any relation with Shu Nian, he was busy all day long, and doing nothing but searching for Shu Nian,

Others wondered if he had become crazy. He also knew that he wasn't normal, but it was unavoidable, because Shu Nian wasn't there.

Xie Yan wouldn't know how to cherish Shu Nian if he didn't lose him, he had always been cherished, and Shu Nian wouldn't reluctant to cherish him at any time. He felt complete when Shu Nian was by his side, and he only needs Shu Nian in his life.

He is too stupid, he never learns how to be a good lover, he was used to act willfully, he tried to soften down to cherish that person, but he was still bad at it.

He felt in love for the first time in that age, his ego didn't allow him to ask for an advice, and marched forward by using his ways. Shu Nian accepted his intricate love, without saying anything, always gentle and put up with him, and never told him that he was wrong.

Indeed, he was now in the dead end, of course, he knew that he had went to the wrong direction, although wasn't clear what had gone wrong. He didn't mind to come back at square one, as long as Shu Nian tells him clearly, he will correct it.

But, another chance?

Would he get another chance?

Apart from pain, Xie Yan also felt some bitterness, that person, why he didn't ever tell him when he made his first mistake?

That man was too selfless, and it destroyed both of them.

Not long after that, Xia Jun nearly getting stabbed by someone, the culprit had murderous intention after he failed to court her and getting insulted by Xia Jun, that person also confessed of trying to poison her when they had a drink together, but there was nothing Xia jia could do because the doctor had proved his mental history.

The news was published in the newspaper, they have no intention to read it, Xie Feng turned over the newspaper and awkwardly put down the coffee cup in his hands, and only said: "so it is like that." Others didn't say anything.

Xie Yan could felt that they turned silence due to a slight guilt, but it was only small portion, and soon dissipated.

If Shu Nian was there, he would only smile, he would be understanding and wouldn't take offense of this unfathomable misunderstanding. He was used to it, he never fuss about it, and he really didn't care about it. He was only afraid of being looked down by someone, and that person is Xie Yan.

Xie Feng saw his son bowed his head without saying a word, his shoulders were trembling slightly, and he thought Xie Yan was overcome with regret, he cleared his throat and said: "You don't have to worry, Shu Nian didn't run away, he just left out of an angry fit, he will come back after he calms down..."

"Enough," Xie Yan said lowly, but it was enough to shut his father's mouth, "he won't come back, you don't understand...all of you won't understand...he won't come back...all of you know nothing..."

Being Xie Yan's father for so many years, it was the first time he saw his son shed tears, he was shocked and would never be able to forget about it.

"Both of you don't know, he is very important to me..."

And even that person didn't know about it.

It wasn't a small regret, he was crying for something he had missed, crying as it was too late to declare his feeling, crying for his stupidity, and crying for the man who would never come back.

In the evening, Mrs. Xie complained that his son was being insensible, he totally ignored the company in order to find a man, and he became cold and no longer meet the ladies she had arranged, and he kept on missing the dates, and making her losing her face in front of her close friends.

It was the first time the husband interrupted his wife's nagging, and he said: "forget about it, just let him decide about his own love life in the future."

When his wife was dumbfounded, he added: "Xiao Yan already grown up, we really shouldn't intervene with youngster's affair."

His son who refused to even scrunch his brow when his wound was sutured without anesthesia because of his ego, but he suddenly burst tears in front of everyone, he couldn't help from smiling bitterly when he thought about it: "it was our fault for not being understanding."

The search seemed like it was endless. It was also exhausting, but Xie Yan wouldn't give up easily. Xie Yan had already became afraid.

It shouldn't be that hard, right?

Xie Yan refused to think about any other possible outcome. He only believed that Shu Nian was hiding because he was sad, hiding from him as best as he could, but he could still see his effort.

The reason why Shu Nian still didn't come out was because he didn't know how hard Xie Yan tried to find him and he didn't believe Xie Yan was really in love with him.

Therefore he would continue looking for Shu Nian, and bought possible clues with high price, putting news regarding him in newspaper and television, and hired people to post Shu Nian's pictures on the road, he did everything.

As long as Shu Nian could see it, or hear about it, his heart would soften and came back.

His Xiao Nian, is that kind of person, right? His Xiao Nian, no matter how angry he is, there was still a little bit of love for him, right?

Perhaps his efforts were finally showed a result, maybe God finally felt that He should stop torturing him, and an accurate news regarding Shu Nian finally came.

Xie's maids talked about this matter after the incident happened for a long time, they still vividly remembered how their shaoye leaped up to answer the phone, and there was nothing they could use to accurately describe his expression, but it was as if he suddenly came back alive. Of course their shaoye is alive before he picked up the phone, but he became completely different once he picked it up, if to use a word such as "happy" to describe it, it was really far from enough.

The reason why it only lasted for "a moment", it was because their young master wasn't the same after he began to listen carefully. He only said two words from the beginning to the end of the conversation; "go on", and then there was a long silence. They didn't dare to go toward him, could only see the back of his head, and then watched him he sat and listening to the phone.

For a very long time, he didn't even move around, and they suspected that the phone call had been cut off, but no one dare to confirm it, and after a very long time they saw him looking down slightly, and there were something trickling down from the side of his face.

Shaoye sat there alone while holding the phone for the whole afternoon, without uttering anything, everyone became extremely afraid, but one of them were brave enough to secretly went closer. She couldn't see his face, and could only see a large wet spot around his legs.

A while ago, Shu Nian got into a car accident. Actually it wasn't that serious, and it wasn't too late when to the hospital, but he didn't have money.

Because Xie Yan was looking after him, Shu Nian couldn't go to work openly, and he moved several times in order to avoid from being known by his neighbors, and he didn't dare to socialize with others, his savings was very meager, and couldn't last for too long, later on he could only rely on the cheap breads from convenience store to survive.

It wasn't that bad, he was used to wait for everything to past, waiting for the time when Xie Yan would get bored, and he was fine with it.

The accident was too sudden, he also didn't have time to think about the thing that happened because of the pain and blood loss, and what was the use of recalling the past? A patient that couldn't afford to pay the treatment cost could only lie there and waiting quietly, people around him kept coming and going, but no one come and stop in front of him.

But it didn't matter, he was used to wait.

From his childhood when he waited for people to adopt him during the Christmas Eve dinner, waiting for his prince to take him away, waiting for his shaoye to love him willingly, until now when he waited for the merciful doctors and nurses to bring him into the operating room.

Even if he couldn't wait, it didn't matter.

A person like him, he was already used to it.

He could only quietly think of that person when he was waiting in pain, thought of the time when the man was gentle with him, thought of Ke Luo that was already grown up, no longer had to rely on him to lead a happy life, thought of himself, a useless person, always waiting for all his life, and didn't change until the time when he was about to die, therefore he couldn't wait anymore.

Beside him, that person thought he was pitiful but wasn't willing to spend a lot of money for stranger, felt that he was very quiet, and didn't wailed like anyone else, as if he knew it would be useless no matter how much he wails in pain.

His expression inevitably distorted in pain, but he was unusually calm as if he had freed himself from any worries.

Since then Xie's servants never saw their shaoye laugh. Shaoye continued to take care of the company, it wasn't that bad, but he became unusually cold, as if nothing could make him happy, or nothing could bring him happiness. The extremely lack of expression from their shaoye, made them began to miss the time when Shu shaoye was still alive, although he didn't have any position, but he was still their "shaoye", they also felt that Shu shaoye who was already died was really a good man, and [1] shaoye would always wait for him whenever he lost his temper.

[T/N: [1] not in a bad way, simply mean XY will calm down when he is with SN.]

But Shu Nian would never come back.

Xie Yan life became very ordinary, like a machine which is very accurate and without any errors, but there would be time when he would get drunk for a few days in every month. He would get drunk and shut himself in the room where Shu Nian used to live, people on the outside could occasionally hear his voice, it was as if he was whispering something to someone, and he would also cry sometimes.

It was as if he was willing to wait, willing to believe that person would come back to live, live in his drunken lifeless eyes.

This continued for many years.

Xie Yan never got married until he turned old. Everyone who was close with him already knew the name of his beloved one, and no one could touch the passenger seat in his car, it had always been empty.

Or perhaps, it has long been filled.

_Uncontrolled Love [Tragic Ending] END_

Anne's Rant:

As much as I'm happy to see XY sad, I still feel melancholic whenever I read this chapter and this chapter is the hardest to translate. I kept on delaying and skip to the special chapter lol

Please note that some part might be incorrect as I don't know how to translate it to English. Mistakes are bound to happen and corrections are very welcome.