V1C2 Part3

Parsed with an automated reader. The content accuracy is not guranteed.

3. GIRL’S MINDPrevious || Index || Next

Seiin High School was located on a slope at the foot of a mountain,

and it took twenty minutes to walk there from the shopping district in front of

Nanafu Station. That was why the height difference between the school building

and other facilities was so severe. The mountain behind the school building was

flattened, and the first sports ground and the slightly narrower second sports

ground were arranged like terraced fields, and the outdoors court was on the

slope that ran beside those two grounds. That slope was about a hundred meters

long, and it was the perfect course for hill running.

The

dirt road, which had absorbed the sweat and curses and vomit from thousands of

athletes since founding and was trampled down firmly by them, was bone dry from

being exposed to the scorching September sun. The regulars were holding

game-centered finishing practice for the Spring Inter-High volleyball

qualifiers coming up later this month, so during that time, we first-years were

assigned to do basic strength training. Our second-year senpais who weren’t on

the bench were in charge of it, but these second-years were far stricter than

the third-year captains.

“Ayano! Who said you can rest!? Get up and run!”

Our senpais’ angry voice flew at Ayano, who was sitting down

halfway up the slope. Somehow, she managed to get up and unsteadily meandering

up to where we were, before covering her mouth with an “Urp” and sinking down

again. Without giving Ayano time to rest, they scolded, “If everyone’s here, then

go down now!” We didn’t even have the energy to complain and came down the

slope with our faces hanging down like exhausted slaves. Ayano, standing up

while wheezing, was on the verge of tears. Ah, she might throw up… When I saw

that, I felt like I was about to puke too, so I decided to not to look back at

her.

I didn’t have it in me to reach out my hand today. In terms

of physical strength, I was just as exhausted as Ayano, but it was just that I

refused to sit down out of pride. I felt gross. My hips felt heavy. Sometimes

my vision would suddenly go red and black. I think…that is coming. It

was supposed to be still around four days away, so I got careless. Once I

became possessed by that thought, I couldn’t stop worrying about the inside of

my underwear. How many more times did I have to go up? Do I wait until club

activities were finished? What would I do if I run to the washrooms right after

and it really comes?

…It was no good. I had to tell them.

“Senpai…”

I called out to my senpais in a

fidgety whisper, which was startling for me. Though it shouldn’t be something

embarrassing because I saw other girls coming forward about it from time to

time, I had to muster up all my mental strength to broach that topic.

When I told them, I was unexpectedly readily allowed to

leave for a short period. Apparently I looked sicker than I felt. Because I,

who never whined like Ayano did, told them about it with a ghastly pale face, and

it actually made my senpais panic instead.

I was strangely embarrassed about that certain time of the

month that every girl had, and even in places where there were only girls, I

was afraid to talk about it. Being afflicted with heavy menstrual pains didn’t

suit a masculine girl like me if I do say so myself, and I felt like if people

knew, they would judge me or be put off.

“Long hair doesn’t suit Ibara-chan.” —I felt like I was letting that kid down, the one who determined my character with an innocent smile. They would probably be picturesque when they fell asleep with menstrual cramps because they were so small, dainty, and fragile.

My

motto was to stand up straight and walk with big steps, but I was currently

slouching slightly and my stride naturally narrowed. While praying that I didn’t

run into anyone, I hurried to the club room building. I was able to get out of

club activities, but my crisis hadn’t actually gone away. I recalled not

bringing my pouch with me because I didn’t think it was coming yet.

It would

be bad if I just rummaged through Ayano’s backpack without asking her…I

don’t want to go back now and ask her either…What should I do, what should I

do…

There were several boys taking a break in front of the

drinking fountain of the club room building. Crap, this was bad timing… I straightened

my spine that was bending forward and casually walked past their backs. As I

began to walk up the stairs, feeling gravity pulling at my hips ten times more

than usual, I ended up slouching again, and right then,

“Suemori Ibara-saaaan. Please show us your panties again

today!”

Hearing jeering voices from below, my hands immediately went

to my butt. Four or five boys with stupid grins on their faces were looking up

at me on the stairs, forming a weird cluster like giving each other neck locks.

Were these the same idiots who told Ayano to show her panties last week?

Should I try to run upstairs and escape to the club room? But

turning one’s back to the enemy is out of the question! Or should I run down

and try to bring down divine punishment to these middle school-looking stupid

boys—my head didn’t know what to do, so my body was at a loss, and my left and

right feet twisted in a weird way and I ended up missing a step. My legs opened

wide and one leg plunged through the gap between the steps, hitting the inside

of my thigh hard. This impossible dullness from Suemori Ibara of all people!

“Woah ho, Suemori’s so lame!”

The boys laughed, but they too were indeed a bit flustered.

The shame was more unbearable than the pain, and tears welled up in my eyes.

The pain of a bruise was nothing compared to the shameful sight of spreading

your legs above boys’ heads on the day your period arrived.

And then, someone from behind grabbed me by my

arms and pulled me up.

“…Are you alright, Ibara-chan?”

A somewhat gloomy voice came down. The first thing I saw as

I craned my neck, half suspended in midair, was red lips and a thin chin, so

close that I panicked and pulled my face away.

Kanno, with a sports towel covering his head, was looking

down at me worriedly.

“Don’t, don’t touch me!”

I pushed Kanno away without thinking and clung to the

railing of the stairs. Kanno awkwardly withdrew his hands, which had lost their

place, and apologized as usual. “I’m sorry…” It seemed like I had refused to

let him help me up, but I simply didn’t want my body to be touched by Kanno

right now… The stupid boys were still looking up at me from below the railing,

so I squeezed my throbbing thighs together.

“Oh, okay…Ibara-chan.”

Right after Kanno looked like realized something, he pushed

me to the back and stepped forward. My body, which had been hidden in the shade

of the eaves, was now exposed to the sun, and I almost shouted, “Ah!” Right at

that moment…

Bang!!

A metallic roar pierced my eardrums. My heart shrank, and the

sounds that were about to come out of my mouth and the tears that had welled up

in my eyes receded.

Kanno

had kicked the railing. The towel had fallen, exposing his pale face.

As the shaking of the metal lasted faintly…

“Sorry, but please don’t tease people too much.”

That was said by a voice so meek and subdued that it made

you wonder what was that outburst right before. It was directed at the boys who

had stiffened in a mass below the stairs and were openmouthed, probably having

braced themselves for an angry voice.

“Ibara-chan, come here.”

As though nothing

happened, he dejectedly went into the shadows of the eaves again, called out to

me and climbed up the stairs. I was rooted on the spot from amazement, but

Kanno beckoned to me with his hands behind his back with a “Hey” and I

crab-walked up the stairs, mindful of my bottom. Kanno went straight past the

girls’ volleyball room that was second from the front and nimbly passed through

the outside passageway that was already narrow but crowded by the junk

overflowing from each room.

Relegated to the very end of the second floor, in a spot

where it was a hassle to get in and out of, was the boys’ volleyball club room.

This was just my own impression, but aura of losers was leaking out from the door

gap.

“No one’s here right now, so feel free to come in. I just

came here to get my stopwatch because I forgot it.”

Kanno

said, opening the door and going in. There was no way I could just walk into

the boys’ club room and say “Pardon the intrusion” if I was told “Feel free to

come in.” As soon as I cautiously peeked in from the door, an indescribable

smell of sweat hit me. It was completely different from the scent of the girls’

room I was used to smelling. It wasn’t mixed in with artificial smells like

antiperspirant spray, just the smell of bare sweat. It couldn’t be called neat

and tidy by any standard, with equipment, personal belongings and trash lying

around, but I wondered if it was because we had three times the number of

members that it looked emptier than the girls’ volleyball club room. Or, maybe

it was simply because girls had more stuff.

Kanno opened the door of one of the lockers, rummaged

around, found something and handed it over to me. It was a rectangular object

with a short edge of about ten centimeters and long edge of about twenty

centimeters, with a colored plastic bag wrapped around it. Its shape, size, and

tight packaging, as well as the drugstore logo printed on the bag. A girl would

recognize what it was right away, but—why was it coming out of Kanno’s locker!?

“C’mon, take it.”

Kanno said in a muffled voice, sticking his head halfway

into his locker. Vividly reminded of a vampire who felt safe being in his own

coffin, the picture was strangely familiar.

“And please close that door when you’re done. People will

think I’m a pervert if they see this, so…”

“No, you’re enough of a pervert already…?”

Kanno awkwardly

tossed it at me, like he was unable to bear its weight, and I had no choice but

to yelp and catch the thing that flew. Hmm, there was no mistake about it, this

feeling and lightness. There were probably about twenty-four inside to use for

many days.

“I

didn’t have it because I wanted to have it. I was sent to buy it before…They

were probably betting on something, but when I came back, the guys who ordered

me to do it were getting yelled at by a third-year and it ended there, then I

wondered what I should do with these… I couldn’t have anyone see me have them,

I couldn’t throw them away, and if I brought them home, my mom would probably

faint.”

“They even made you do that…? When was that? Why didn’t you tell

me? I did warn them to stop it.”

“I guess June…? I know you aren’t very good at talking about

things like this, Ibara-chan, so I thought it would embarrass you if I talked

about it…” June meant that Kanno had this in his locker for three months.

“So, please, use this.”

Kanno said, poking a third of his face out from the other

side of his locker. Oh, I’m saved. For a moment, I was simply grateful,

but——

I belatedly

realized what this offer meant, and my face instantly turned hot.

“Wait,

h-how did you kn…you, you really are a pervert…”

“I am not a pervert. It’s unfortunate. It’s rather obvious when you see

it, you know? I’ve been practicing with girls since middle school… Don’t girls

feel tired and look sick?”

“Yeah, but

even other girls don’t know.”

“Huh?

Really? But even when I’m there, they say things like, ‘Do you have that today?’… You always look like you’re in pain from the twentieth to the

twenty-third…Wait, today’s still the sixteenth.”

“Just wait a minute and be quiet. How did you grasp my…you

know…”

The important words wouldn’t pass through my throat, and I

turned bright red, my chin wobbling. For me, it was a disgusting, taboo word to

even say, something that would force me to transform into an unclean creature I

didn’t want to be.

“That’s because I’m always watching you, Ibara-chan…”

“So you’re a stalker, creep!”

“No, you have it all wrong! Don’t call me a creep.”

When I cursed at him unthinkingly, Kanno hurriedly added to

what he said with a hurt look on his face.

“I’ve always been your fan, that’s what I meant by always

watching you…ah, it does sound kinda stalkerish, but I’m not…um…Ibara-chan, you

always saved me, and that’s why I’m here in the girls’ club. If you weren’t

here, I would have quit a long time ago, and I might have even quit school…My

parents are just overjoyed that I’m going to high school, but they’re shocked

that I’m joining the volleyball team again, and that’s all thanks to you.

Volleyball is fun. You were also the one who taught me the fun of

volleyball…You were the best at volleyball, you were always cool, confident,

someone who I could never be on par with. But, lately, I’ve been wanting

something more, and, um…”

He

retreated into the shadows of the locker once again while restlessly shaking

his gaze left and right, and he was coughing so much that I was wondering if he

had trouble breathing. No, how should I put it…if someone who didn’t know him

saw his behavior, he really would seem like a pervert, but…Kanno, who didn’t

talk a lot normally, was earnestly talking like he was scraping up the

fragments of words scattered all about his body. Unconsciously overawed, I was

unable to interrupt. When he calmed his breathing and faced forward like he had

resolved himself, his wandering eyeballs had settled, and his gaze was fixed on

my face. He straightened his body that seemed like it was going to snuggly fit

into the locker at any moment, and ah, that was when I was reminded that he had

overtaken me in height a long time ago.

“Um, I like you, Ibara-chan.”

Right after he said that while looking me in the eye, fire

erupted from his face with a thud and he covered his face his hands, exclaiming

stuff like “Uwah.”

While Kanno found himself in a fix all by himself, I…

I was so calm that it was uncanny. It was not the time for

going into raptures over being confessed to by a boy for the first time in my

life.

So

it’s like that…

While

I was listening, something got stuck in my mind. It was in past tense, all of

it. In other words, in Kanno’s head, I was no longer an existence that was

cool, confident and the best at volleyball. It meant that the current me was

“something I could be on par with.” Even I was very well aware of that, but the

fact that I was told that from Kanno’s mouth when I was supposed to take a

little more time to come to terms with it within myself was a shock that was

like having my head chopped off by a guillotine, and with that shock…

The feeling of something somewhat warm sliding down my inner

thigh finally overwhelmed me.

“Ibara-chan…?”

Kanno cautiously raised his face.

The me who was a supreme existence for Kanno had nowadays

fallen to the point where I could be obtained if someone wanted me. No matter

how much I aimed for the top, I would never be able to jump higher than I did

now, but Kanno was undoubtedly continuing to nimbly soar higher and higher at

this very moment. Instead of attaching extra fat to his chest and buttocks, he

would be covered in more and more supple and strong muscles.

I guess you don’t remember anymore…

“Long hair doesn’t suit Ibara-chan. You’ll look more

handsome if it’s shorter.”

That was something said to me. From the smallest and most

delicate kid in class. Putting a spell on me to shun being a girl and be cool

and handsome, he became independent from my protection before I knew, and on

top of that, confessed to me, like I was a clown.

It was now clear that the scratchiness that I felt within me

every time I saw Kanno was jealousy and hatred.

“…Sorry, but no.”

Kanno’s eyes widened for a second, and then his shoulders

slumped in disappointment.

“The

only thing I feel for you is jealousy. You were lucky enough to be born a boy,

and without using much effort, you were able to snatch what I want so bad but

could never get. You grew a lot, I see… Did you know? I haven’t grown a

centimeter since a year ago. My jump power is dropping. I’m gonna be less and

less able to jump, just like Ayano. I don’t want that… I don’t want to be Ayano.

Being so heavy and shameful-looking, just lumbering around close to the

ground…”

“Ibara-cha…don’t…”

When I said Ayano’s name, Kanno suddenly interrupted me with

an accusatory voice. I was irritated, wondering if he was finally going to talk

to me like he was condescendingly admonishing me. I was very on edge.

I noticed that Kanno’s gaze was directed over my shoulder

towards the outside hallway. When I looked back, sure enough, Ayano was

standing there. She was holding a sports drink and towel, and her eyes were

wide.

What did I say just now—? I was horrified at the

words my own tongue wove together.

“Oh, um, Ibara-chan didn’t come back, so I came to check on

her, but well, I half did it because I wanted to skip,” Ayano was speaking

quickly with a shocked look on her face, and then forced an “…Aha!” like she

just remembered to do it. “Ah, haha…that’s right, that’s why I’m useless. I get

fat too quickly and it’s no wonder that Ibara-chan hates me, so, so don’t worry

about it…”

She

suddenly cast down her face with the whitish smile and spoke in a small voice.

“They, they’ll get angry if we don’t back now…I’ll go on

ahead…”

She said and turned on her heel. Without looking anywhere

but forward, she ran past the girls’ volleyball room, swinging the big butt I

had shamed just now and disappearing down the stairs. The sound of squeaky

footsteps stamping down the steps became distant.

“Ibara-chan, you have to go after her.”

Kanno grabbed my arm. I, who was frozen, jumped, but my legs

didn’t move. If I took even a step forward from here, my blood will…

“It-it’s fine, it’s fine, we’ll meet in practice soon

anyways, and she’ll understand once I talk to her… It wasn’t like I was talking

about Ayano, just girls in general…”

Of course I was lying. It wasn’t

about girls in general or anything like that. While I was blathering to Kanno

about stuff that was just me taking out my anger from the ends of my prejudiced

mind, it was definitely Ayano who I had been picturing in my mind with

contempt.

***

When I

returned to practice, Ayano, who was supposed to have gotten back before me,

was nowhere to be seen. When my senpais asked me with concern, “Ibara, are you

alright?”, I subconsciously put on a tough front and said, “Everything was

completely fine. Sorry for all the trouble,” and despite worrying about Ayano,

I did the rest of the regimen with the same enthusiasm as everyone else.

When practice time ended and the outside court, which had

been roasted by the late summer sun, was finally in the shade with a somewhat

comfortable wind blowing, Ayano returned.

She was with Kanno. No way, did he go searching for her…?

She whispered something to Kanno, and then came to inside of the fence

while awkwardly shrugging her shoulders. Kanno was seeing Ayano out and he

himself didn’t go inside, just watching from outside the fence. The sports

towel was once again snugly tied around his head.

Ayano first ran over to the captain, received a scolding,

and then joined us as we were putting away the net.

“Wh-where did you go? Ayano…”

I made my face up like nothing had happened and called out

to her, but she didn’t meet my eyes. I wondered where had she been until

now—the tip of her nose was red from being sunburnt. “Ayano, Ayano, what

happened?” “Why did you come with Dracky?” Immensely curious whispers

immediately surrounded Ayano, and I was shut out of the circle.

Apologize,

apologize, apologize, apologize… Just chanting that in my mind like a prayer to Buddha

didn’t lead to action. Was I such a dawdling coward? In the end, I wasn’t cool

or confident when it really mattered.

Clang, the fence shook violently.

On the inside of the fence, all of the girls’ team ducked

their heads as they turned around, and then there was a sudden stir. Kanno

gripped the fence with one hand and crouched down like he was hanging from it.

“Kanno!?”

I immediately ran over to the fence. I changed my mind on

the way there and turned ninety degrees, rushing out the gate and went outside

the fence. I rushed up to him and got on my knees, and when I touched his

shoulder, it was hot—!? Kanno’s five fingers, which were still caught on the

fence, slipped off and hit the ground. “Kan…” When I pressed his shoulders and

tried to look into his face, the towel he covered his head with came loose and

exposed his face.

The other members who belatedly gathered at the inside of

the fence cried out.

From the bridge of his nose to his cheeks, a dense,

closely-packed rash had emerged, and his skin was flaming bright red like he

had blisters. Ayano’s slight sunburn couldn’t compare to it. The members in the

front row were being pressed against the fence by the pressure from behind and

blatantly trying to move back. “Hey, stop pushing!”

“Don’t…Please don’t look…”

A

feeble voice leaked from Kanno’s mouth. He fumbled for the towel and pressed it

against his face, curling his back and cowering. The rash also appeared on the

back of his hand, peeking out from his long sleeves. Ibara-chan, his

small voice entered my ears, and I unconsciously brought my drawn back face

close to his.

“…I’m sorry for getting carried away…I know, I’m a total

disgrace, and I’m nowhere near equal with you, Ibara-chan…So please,

don’t…don’t go saying silly stuff like that…don’t say things that will make you

lose your friends because of me…”

There was no one to make fun of, but without knowing what to

do, and me and the rest of the team could do nothing but stay frozen in place

from confusion. While we had been told that he had a health condition, it

didn’t mean we could truly imagine the reality of it, so we thought it probably

wasn’t as serious as everyone said, so that was probably why we could mess with

Kanno so lightheartedly.

The only one who moved was Ayano. She went around the fence

and ran over to our side, thrusting me away and switched places with me,

putting the unfolded bath towel on top of Kanno’s head.

“I’m sorry, Dracky, you were with me the whole time, I’m

sorry, and thank you… What should I do? Should we go inside the school? Can you

walk? Senpai, please call the teacher!”

Ayano

at that moment was not slow and sluggish in the slightest. She was quicker and

braver than anyone. As though her voice released them from their paralysis,

everyone regained their movements. The third-years ran to get their phones to

call the advisor. Some came over to help Ayano while others carried over a

cooler box.

Amidst

all of that, I was the only one who was unable to take any effective action, just

sitting on my butt in a daze.

Previous || Index || Next