18. destructive

"Give me your hand.. come on dear."You visibly hesitated while looking up into Erens hoping eyes. Finally, you reached out and let him get a hold of your hand and with that, guide you out of his new and probably high-priced car.Still after a while of knowing Eren Yaeger, there was this particular type of shiver running through your body whenever your bare skins collided.It wasn't a good or bad feeling it was just a very neutral rush of energy that was cutting through your body every time it happened.Now, why were you here again? Oh yeah..A week ago Eren and you had met up "one last time".Yeah right.Why did you even believe that bullshit for a second? First of all, you had planned on just going with him for an explanation but ended up with all of your anger and rage being fucked out of you on his expensive ass bed.Well to be honest it was a victory for your side aswell... kind of?Basically he said it would take a while and also so called "preparation" for him to actually finally force himself into you, but because of your stubbornness and determination you ended up actually having sex.Okay, if you hadn't been extremely irritated, it would have hurt like a bitch, but you were very emotionally intoxicated and the adrenaline caused by those emotions washed away the pain you probably would have experienced.Nevertheless after waking up next to him the next morning, you couldn't force yourself back into your inraged state.You just pretended as if nothing ever happend. It was probably caused by the shock you had experienced and because of that your body just turned of any complicated emotions and decided to act completely normal.And well, here you were now, at a party, with Eren Yaeger.You hadn't talked about the incident since. You never officially forgave him or anything you just continued talking as if nothing happend.You knew it was wrong... you weren't that attached to him, well... Whatever.Your body just blended out the things he had done wrong and now it was back to how it was... a big party of confusion."See, it wasn't that hard was it?"And there it was again, that smirk he gives you that sends some type of sensation down your body that doesn't fail to keep you hooked.Eren slowly guided you out of his car and you made your way into the actual party house.Again it wasn't an actual party with electric DJ music but more elegant and well, professional.You hated to admit it but slowly you were becoming more mature and grown up, so messy drug filled college parties just weren't your top priority anymore.You originally didn't want to attend this one because you were certain that not only Jean would be there, but also Reiner. Even if you promised each other there were no strings attached, you knew he had a thing for you and you didn't want him to see you with Eren.Nevertheless Eren and you entered the "party area and immediately started looking for a seat. Eventually you settled down at a table with two other men that looked like they knew Eren.Honestly, who doesn't know him?"Hey Kayden and Matt, this is my beautiful girlfriend y/n."Now hold on... who the hell said that the two of you were dating?Even though the word girlfriend sent a cool shiver down your spine for some reason it still felt, good?Why the fuck?Maybe it was just the fact that you knew someone cared. This was so wrong bit you weren't doing anything. It kind of felt relieving to hear Eren finally actually "claim" You and actively show that he really wasn't fooling around. He was dead serious.Throughout the whole party you stayed more in the background.Every now and then Matt and Kayden would ask you questions and you would just smile at them politely and answered them I the simplest way possible to not seem suspicious but still get it over with quickly.Eventually the party came to an end and Eren and you headed back to his place.The car ride home was filled of Eren blabbering you full while you just gave short and chopped up answers while staring outside of the window."Hey, y/n, what's wrong?"Oh it's nothing, there were just a lot of people, it's exhausting."Eren softly placed his right hand on your left thigh and began tracing circles all over it while continuing to comfort you, but it wasn't really working because he was comforting you for something that didn't really bother you at all.One thing led to another and ther you were, leaning back against his headboard while he was buried deep between your legs.You weren't about to lie to yourself.It felt as amazing as ever. His tongue gracefully traced every little part of your vulva and it made sure to hit all of your sweet spots while still remaining graceful and teasing.If your problem had really only been the big amount of people at the party, Eren would have for sure succeeded at washing all of that away with his pleasure, but it was impossible for him to wash away the discomfort of himself.Still, you enjoyed every last second of him, every last lick and every last suck as you couldn't stop from griping his hair and throwing your head back in delight.Finally after reaching you 5th climax of the night, Eren stopped and traced his thumb over your swollen folds until he stopped at your clit."This will forever be mine, and only mine."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A few weeks had passed and things basically stayed the same.Eren and you were officially together now and things were looking good, if only you wouldn't be facing the same struggles with him over and over again.Thinking about it, Eren still hadn't told you the entire truth. You were sure that there was still way more behind his story and with that his actions but he never gave it to you.Yes he apologized and yes he did everything he could to make it up to you and yes he was treating you like the perfect boyfriend but still that men hurt you so bad.You had promised to keep away from him. They say you should forgive and never forget but at this point, you weren't even sure if you were able to forgive him for his actions.The cuts were a little to deep to be forgiven so soon and especially with this small amount of information and exposure. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"Y/n Y/l/n , I love you so much.""I-, I- hmm."Eren leaned forward and caressed your check with a loving glow within his eyes.His hands fitted you cheek perfectly and you had to admit that you were melting under his touch even if you knew it was wrong for you to do so and you shouldn't be feeling this way."Don't worry, one day you will be able to say it back... I will wait for you as long as needed."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~You felt like your relationship with Eren was slowly breaking you.It wasn't rapid but still noticeable.Every day a small piece of you was pulled away by him.But you couldn't.You just couldn't leave him.You still fucking loved that asshole and you knew he was the one.Why did it have to be him though?If only Eren were a normal guy. You would have left him at once if he had behaved this way and if you were experiencing these unknown feelings.But we are talking about Eren Fucking Yaeger here and for some reason you couldn't let go of his annoying ass.He made you feel so loved and accepted and beautiful and special but at the same time betrayed.How can someone who hurt you and broke you over and over and over again, love you?How is that possible?If he truly loved you, why bother putting you through all of this pain?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~