Chapter 11

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Warning: NSFW

“Gao Yu, where did you go yesterday? Li Weisen’s back!”

“…Oh.”

“Did you know, he’s chasing one of our high school classmates. I even saw her sitting with him yesterday! It seems like they’ll be a real couple soon.”

“…As long as he’s happy.”

“He really is amazing. He managed to charm her with just letters and phone calls. I can’t compare at all.”

“…I have something to do. Let’s talk later.”

The woman on the TV was still moaning, but Li Weisen’s hand was already inside the waistband of my pants. It was a humiliating situation. I pulled at his hand and tried to stand up, but he took advantage of my movements and twisted my arm against my back. The sudden pain made me call out. I could feel cold sweat streaming down my body, and I couldn’t find the energy to lift even a finger.

“Why are you running? Are you scared?” His lips were right next to the back of my ear. He stuck out his tongue and licked my ear, drawing a reflexive shudder from me. I heard him take a deep breath and say, “Gao Yu, you haven’t done it yet right? Let me teach you. I’m very good.”

“I don’t want to. Do you realize I’m a man? Li Weisen!” I said through gritted teeth. He was losing his mind to the alcohol. Even if I liked him, it didn’t mean I could accept something like this.

“I do know. You’re the one who doesn’t understand. Doing it with a man feels great too. Tonight, I’m going to teach you.”

He dragged me onto the bed and locked my arms above my head. Panting for breaths, he stared at me. He then leaned down and crushed his lips to mine. Rather than a kiss, it was more like he was trying to invade and occupy my mouth.

My lips gradually started hurting from his brusque movements. A wave of desire shot through my mind and I could feel myself becoming drunk again when my breath mixed with his. The minute I softened my defenses, he forced my mouth open and sucked hard on my tongue. Feeling like I was about to suffocate, the thought of biting down on him flashed in my mind, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Seeming to have noticed that I was backing down, he finally loosened the tight hold he had on my hands and mouth. In a gentle and enticing voice, he said, “I really want to do it. Let me do it…”

Faced with his eyes that were filled with lust, I forgot to ask him anything else. I turned my head aside and said, “turn that off.”

“What? Oh, I’ll turn it off right now.” He jumped off the bed, turned off the TV, and quickly ran back. He tore off his clothes at an even faster rate. The sound of rustling fabric made my body feel hot, especially my face, it felt like it was on fire.

“Wa—it’s cold! Come over here!” He pulled me over and hugged me between his arms. I was forced to look at his face and body. Even though he was only sitting there in his underwear, he didn’t feel the least bit embarrassed. While pulling at my clothes, he teased, “take it off. I can’t wait any longer. Let me see what you look like now.”

He dragged my jeans down roughly, almost pulling down my underwear with it as well. Even though my face was red with embarrassment, I was still capable of getting mad. I cursed at him, “bastard… What are you doing?”

He leaned in close to me and smiled obscenely. He lowered his voice and said, “I want to ‘do’ you!”

Instinctively, I slapped him, but he was prepared and caught my hand before it connected with his face. “Haha, don’t be mad. It was just a joke. Your skin is beautiful. Let me kiss it before we do anything else.”

His caresses were clumsy, the sheer force behind them only made people feel pain rather than happiness. The only reason I was excited was probably because of what I felt for him inside my heart and what I saw in front of me—his passionate expression, strong body, and the smooth skin that I had caressed so many times in my fantasies. I wanted to be even more reckless than he was, but I didn’t do anything; rather, I lay there docilely and let him do as he pleased.

With just a pitiful amount of foreplay, he tried to enter my body. I told him it wouldn’t work, but he ignored me. After several agonizing attempts, I was sweating from the pain. Any desire I had felt before had already disappeared. He wasn’t doing that much better than me. His body was dripping with sweat, but the desire he couldn’t release only reared its head all that much higher.

He told me to turn around so that he could try one last time from the back. I was tempted to reject him but resisted myself in the end. Following his words, I made myself assume the position that I had never once being in before, even in my dreams. In all my lewd fantasies, I was never the one underneath, even if my partner was him. But when the actual day came around, I found myself acting like such a slut. Aside from “slut,” I couldn’t find another word to describe myself. I had fallen so low that I was tolerating him to this extent.

While those thoughts ran through my mind, I was hit with a new wave of pain as his fingers moved around brusquely. He seemed to have find the spot and I could feel myself opening up as his fingers inched in deeper. The tiny bit of wetness on his fingers did nothing to ease the journey. I bit my lips shut and tried to prevent any sound from escaping. At the same time, I tried to relax my body that was locking up from the pain.

When he was finally and completely inside me, I was an edge away from fainting due to the terrible discomfort. The minute he tried moving, he came instead. I sighed with relief as I felt the wave of hot liquid burst out. However, he complained dejectedly, “damn it! You’re too tight down there. Why is the first time so hard?”

I couldn’t move as I lay there on the bed. His voice seemed to be coming from a faraway place, but gradually it became clearer. “Then again, it should be fine. This just means it’ll be much smoother next time.”

“Can we just…forget it?” I said in a very small voice. I didn’t know if it was semen or blood, but it felt wet and sticky down there. Not to mention, I still felt the squeezing pressure from being expanded inside. The only thing I wanted to do right now was throw up.

“Are you feeling uncomfortable? It’s okay, you’ll get used to it. That just now didn’t count. I’m usually not that bad.”

“I’m not saying you’re bad.”

“Then that should be fine! Eh, looking at the sight of you right now, I’m getting hard again. Let’s do it one more time.”

He was in high spirits again and hugged me immediately after he spoke. The thing that was pressed against my abs was indeed hard again. Looking at his happy face, I couldn’t say anything. In the end, I said, “all right.”

Fully naked, we entwined together again. True to his word, the second time we did it was much smoother. There wasn’t much resistance when he tried to enter again, but the pain that came with it was all the greater. I felt myself losing hold on reality as he rammed into me. I tightened the hold I had around his neck, the feeling of his sweat-soaked hair jabbing me in the face was much more comfortable than the actual act of lovemaking. I kissed his face many times, from his closed-shut eyes to his smooth chin, and from his straight nose to his well-rounded ears. Every kiss made me realize how much I liked him. Right before he came, his movements became faster. I took the brunt of his hits with a stifled groan and smiled at his sweat-soaked face.

I didn’t know how many times we did it that night. The only thing I remembered were the words he said to me while kissing me tiredly. “I didn’t think so before, but looking at you now, you really are too sexy. What if I fall for you?”

Feeling weak all over, I lay there between his arms and laughed stupidly. “Are you for real? I’m not a beautiful woman.”

“Haha, you’re even better than a beautiful woman down there.”

“Can you shut the hell up? Why do you have to be so vulgar?”

“Are you embarrassed again? Are you a man or not?”

“You mean you didn’t see earlier?”

“I did see it, but I didn’t see you cum. Sorry, it’s my fault. Next time, I’ll make sure to take care of all your needs!”

“Can you stop already? I don’t care about that at all.”

“…”

At that moment, I thought it was sweet and that I had won him over. Even if we had to hide, even if he would never let me do the same thing to him, he must have liked me. Otherwise, why would he willingly make love to another man? And to be so focused and crazy while doing it?

Completely out of my expectations, my stupid and narcissistic thoughts were shattered the next day. They didn’t even last an entire day.

The morning after, I was shocked by the first sentence he spoke to me. “Last night was amazing. I’ve never had such a great time playing with a man before.”

I felt a chill spread through my heart. It threatened to engulf me, but my expression didn’t change. “Who else have you played with before?”

“A fellow recruit, but you’re much prettier than him. I can’t say anything good about his appearance.”

“Are there more?”

“There’s only two, that’s it. Gao Yu, this has to be kept a secret. You can’t tell Xiao Chuan about this. If rumors get out, we don’t know what would happen.”

“Enough!” Feeling my hair stand on end, I took a few deep breaths and said, “I know. Of course, I know.”

“Are you okay? Why are you looking at me like that? Does it…does it hurt down there?”

It was a laughable situation. He was looking at me with helpless and innocent eyes. After a long silence, I asked, “do you know that Xiao Chuan’s back?”

“I do. Before I came here last night, I was drinking with them. His girlfriend is really quite a looker.”

He didn’t look at me while he spoke, as if he’d noticed something was wrong with me. After a long-winded ramble about whatever came to his mind, he stood up.

I pulled up the blankets and wrapped myself in them. “I didn’t get enough sleep last night. You can leave.”

He hesitated for a moment and then walked out. When he reached the door, he turned around and said, “another day… Why don’t the three of us get together another day? Wait for my call.”

“…Okay.”

After he left, I stared up at the empty ceiling. I didn’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t know what I should be thinking. Oddly enough, I didn’t cry. Perhaps I didn’t like him that much after all. I only felt cold. Maybe I had caught a cold last night.

Smothered by a never-ending chill all around, I kept shivering even underneath the thick blanket. At that moment, the phone on the bedside table rang. It’d come at the best time; I hoped it was my dad or Xiao Chuan.

As expected, Xiao Chuan’s enthusiastically loud voice grated on my eardrums the second I picked up. I clutched the phone to my ear like it was a match, but the news Xiao Chuan told me only brought me a greater chill. Li Weisen—the man who had been entangled with me all night long—already had a new girlfriend.

When I set the phone down, I started laughing. It was truly fascinating. Life really was as dramatic and full of twists and turns as a play in a theater. I laughed harder and harder, enough that I was pulling on the wounds inside my body. What exactly did I go through this pain for?

Gao Yu, there isn’t anybody as stupid as you. I laughed as I said that to myself. I then slapped myself hard across the face.

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