Chapter 4

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Run. Faster. Or you’ll die.

I ran full speed down the castle’s long hallway.

The court ladies looked startled when I passed them, but I couldn’t care less!

One more corner and I would arrive at the second-floor passage. That was my escape route.

I wasn’t stupid enough to look back; I simply moved my legs in desperation… but a wave of killing intent came behind me so I leapt to the side.

Right as I landed, an arrow passed through where I had been.

… For, for what, man!? Why would you shoot an arrow in the castle!?

Fortunately, the corner was almost in reach.

I suppressed a scream as I accelerated and turned the corner. Out the roofed passage, over the handrail and down onto the first floor.

I dashed to a spot hidden from the passage and waited with bated breath. Did I imagine that ‘Tch’ I heard above me? Why did they sound so disappointed?

This was a matter of life and death

I hid. Gone. I’m not here. I’m just a weed. Yup, I’m a weed. So go away.

No wonder Tina always told me my cups kept breaking; my life was constantly in danger. I hoped she wouldn’t give me a stone cup next time.

For now, I needed to become a stone statue and wait… by the time the killing intent was gone, the sun was high in the sky.

“Lu, you’re late.”

“I was at the castle first thing in the morning!”

After getting the violent princess off my trail, I arrived at the office for army officers where Yuan complained, lips curled inwards.

I would’ve come earlier if I could. Swap with me if you don’t believe me.

I sunk into a chair as Yuan, who was leaning on a wall, rolled his eyes and scratched his head.

“How can you be so reckless as to break Princess Iris’ vase?”

“You knew!? You should’ve helped me!”

“No way.”

Don’t answer so quickly.

This guy began working for the castle about the same time as me and he’s two years younger. Born into a family of lower nobility, his swordsmanship was unsurprisingly orthodox.

I thought nobles were all self-important, so it surprised me when Yuan talked to me openly.

He was always spaced out and sometimes I swear he was sleeping with his eyes open.

I drank the tea Yuan served me and took a deep breath. Phew, finally some peace and quiet.

“You really love Princess Iris, don’t you? You sure you didn’t send a request asking to be killed?”

“I haven’t sent a request like that to anyone!”

You think I’m a pervert? Even the thought of that disgusts me!

I’ll throw this pot lid at you to teach you a lesson! Take this.

“Ow.”

… At least try to dodge it. You’re an officer too.

Don’t make that face, you look like a trapped rabbit.

“I don’t have inhumane reflexes like you,” he said.

“My reflexes aren’t that crazy.”

“You’re pretty much a gecko.”

“Compare me to something better!”

What pissed me off was that I actually agreed with his comparison. When will my sneakiness be cured…

“You’ll never be cured.”

“Don’t read my mind!”

Every single one of them! Do my thoughts really show on my face!? I always had my mask on before so I never noticed!

Yuan picked up the clay pot lid and put it back on the pot, pressing it down hard.

Um… my good friend Yuan, what’s in that pot? I saw some strange coloured mushrooms in there, but did we always have those?

I gazed inside the teacup he gave me. Uh… bro?

“I heard you got rejected by Miss Dyna. Racky said he saw you sneakily following behind her.”

“I wasn’t rejected but I was being sneaky.”

Please don’t talk about this. I don’t care who saw what, it was a good memory for me.

… Also, am I imagining my hand getting numb? Yuan never serves me tea, and yet why today?

Yuan nodded, seeing me scrutinise the remaining tea, and took out a pen and paper.

“Started with your hands numbing?” He asked.

“Yeah. Is it one of those undetectable poisons?”

“Yup. Your heart’s supposed to start pounding next.”

“Huh. I didn’t notice, but I think it is… wait, don’t test it on me!”

What was he making me drink!? Was this another attack from the violent princess!? I had let my guard down since I thought I was safe here!

However, Yuan waved off as if it was no big deal.

“Don’t worry, you won’t die. There might be some after-effects though.”

“Like what?”

“It’s rare, but you might become impotent.”

“You want me to strangle you?”

What a horrifying attack! A potent one, I might add.

“I figured it wouldn’t matter to you, Lu.”

Wow, I want to kill you so badly.

Anyway, I should be worrying about the numb… hey isn’t this kind of bad? I stood before my legs stopped working from numbness.

“… I’m leaving early.”

“First you’re late, now you’re leaving early?”

“And who’s fault was that!?”

“Hm, then I think I’ll name them Early Leaver Mushrooms.”

“Throw them out! Please! This is my once in a lifetime wish!”

Using my once in a lifetime wish here felt like a waste, but that’s how much I wanted them gone. Not just for my sake, but for others too.

I exited the office, leaving behind a glum Yuan. If the violent princess found me while my body was all numb, I would definitely die.

And thus, after thirty minutes of sneaking and trembling like a spasming gecko, I arrived at my house…

“How did you get drugged? You’re a former assassin.”

“… Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses…”

I don’t have the energy to talk to you, so please neutralise it already. I’m begging you.

The witch muttered complaints as she pulled out two different medicines. I’m, I’m saved. What a blessing it is to be housemates with a witch.

“It will take around half a day for the numbness to disappear. Make sure to sleep.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll go make lunch. You’ll feel better once you eat.”

Tina rolled her eyes and walked to the kitchen. She’s strangely good at cooking and nursing, so if you could just get past that personality, she might be a good wife.

It was only a matter of time until that impression of her—that I only got because I was weakened—disappeared.

Because five minutes later, I withdrew it, faced with a soup full of spring onions.

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