Chapter 26

Parsed with an automated reader. The content accuracy is not guranteed.

This chapter is a continuation of last chapter.

Title: Satou-san is,

Satou-san has been choosing some souvenirs for me. She was looking at some and searching for the price tags. She was so slow that I found it before he did, but I kept my mouth shut

“Yamaguchi-kun’s mother and father, do they have any problems with sweets?’(S)

“No.”(Y)

“How about some of this corn-shaped chocolate? I hear it’s good.”(S)

“Yeah…”(Y)

I gave a vague answer. I couldn’t choose a souvenir because I was thinking about other things. But I didn’t want to miss out on Satou-san’s kindness.

I feel like I owe you an apology. I’ve been trying to find the right moment to do that for a while now. I knew I should have taken the time to do it. I wanted to apologize during the school trip. Instead, it seemed like now was the only time I had a chance. Keep calm. And I had to say it, as Satou-san wanted me to.

“Or maybe I’d recommend this butter sandwich cookie. I got one too.”(S)

Satou-san picked up the red-labeled box and turned to me. Then I boldly opened my mouth.

“It’s a good idea to have a good time. The other day….”(Y)

There was no momentum, it wasn’t natural. My awkward, clipped words stalled and were quickly drowned out by the airport announcement. I kept my mouth open and lost the words I needed to say.

And Sato-san, too, made her face tighten. The smile that had barely floated on her face disappears and she almost drops her gaze. She immediately looks up at me, but the softness in her expression does not return.

Her lips hesitated for a moment, and then she announced cautiously.

“Wait, let me speak first.”(S)

Putting the box of butter sandwich cookies back on the shelf, she takes a deep breath.

“I’m sorry about the other night,”(S)

She looked down and apologized while squeezing her hands together.

“I said something rude and talked back after Yamaguchi-kun listened to me…”(S)

I shake my head in a hurry.

“No, that’s not true. There’s nothing wrong with you, Satou-san. What’s wrong is……..”(Y)

But Satuo-san interrupted me.

“But I know what you’re saying, Yamaguchi-kun. I knew that Yamaguchi-kun was right. I knew that Yamaguchi-kun was right, but I couldn’t admit it, and I’m really, really sorry about what I said then.”(S)

“Satou-san.”

The look on her face was painful and I couldn’t breathe either. I’ve done something really bad.

“It’s me,”(S)

Satou-san continued in a quiet voice.

“When I promised to meet him, I was very nervous. I was afraid that if he saw my face, he would hate me and leave at once. And then…”(S)

Her voice fell sadly.

“Because then he didn’t really come. I was waiting for him and he didn’t come at all, and later he apologized that he had something urgent to do, but he didn’t call me until much later. He must have come to the meeting place and found me, and I thought he must have gotten sick of me… I got so anxious.”(S)

I wonder if it’s true. I don’t know if it’s true. I hope you’re overthinking it, Satou-san.

“Before that, we had talked about sending each other pictures. He taught me how to use the camera on my cell phone, so he asked me to take a picture and send it to him. But I couldn’t do it.”(S)

I’d like to see his face. Maybe that’s what each of us thinks, after all. You don’t fall in love with someone based on their face, but there are a lot of things you can’t understand without seeing their face. And it’s only natural that you want to know a lot about the person you fall in love with.

“If I sent him a picture, he would be disillusioned since I’m not pretty.”(S)

Satou-san sighs.

“Even if I fell in love with him, I would only cause him trouble, so I thought it would be better not to see him at all. I thought I was free to like that person, even if I was insecure and even if I didn’t fully trust them.”(S)

Her voice trembled slightly.

“After all, I love him…”(S)

With that said, I silently raised my gaze. The look of determination on her face was right in front of me.

“I realized that when Yamaguchi-kun told me. I hate not being able to see him. I don’t want to be anxious. I know there’s a chance he won’t like me after seeing my face, but I want a chance to see him again. I want to meet him and find out how he feels about me, and even if that meant he doesn’t like me, I still wanted to tell him clearly.”(S)

It was the expression of a girl in love. I didn’t know that Satou-san had such a direct expression on her face. I had no idea that the fact that she was thinking about someone else, and not just me, would be so painful. You really love that person, Satou-san. She’s thinking directly and sincerely about him. And she’s trying to communicate her feelings.

“So I’m sorry.”(S)

She bowed to me.

“I know you’ve been thinking about it seriously, Yamaguchi-kun, and I’m going to think about it a little more slowly. I’m going to take some more time to think about it. But–”(S)

“Yes.”(Y)

I nodded. Satou-san laughed a little.

“I wanted to make my feelings clearer. If I feel insecure and don’t know what to do, I know my feelings aren’t true.”(S)

“…Yeah. Okay.”(Y)

Now, I affirmed Sato’s words. I also affirmed her thoughts. I have a lot of things to think about. But if she really loved that person, I thought it was my duty to encourage her. I wanted to encourage her anxious, lost heart, even if only a little.Satou-san patted me on the chest.

“Thank you, Yamaguchi-kun.”(S)

“Don’t thank me. I’m the one who’s sorry.”(Y)

I bow my head too. I know you’re not mad at me, but I wanted to get to the bottom of this. Then I looked up and smiled as much as I could.

“Thank you for forgiving me for something I said without thinking.”(Y)

“No, I think Yamaguchi-kun had the right idea.”(S)

Satou-san said with an expression that resembled a bitter smile and held her face a little awkwardly.

“I didn’t want to not be able to talk to Yamaguchi-kun. I really wanted to apologize earlier, but I just couldn’t get the timing right.”(S)

“I was the same way.”(Y)

I could honestly nod now. Satou-san pulled her chin back and responded.

“You’re amazing, Yamaguchi-kun. You think about so many things much more than I do, and not only about yourself, but also about other people. You really can do anything.”(S)

I wondered if that was so. I didn’t think it was the way Satou-san believed it to be.

I was just an ordinary high school student, nothing amazing or serious. There was nothing very different between me and Satou-san. We sat next to each other in the same class and spent our days in the same way. There was no line between those two desks in the last row by the window. It doesn’t feel good to be looked at in a special way like that. Why doesn’t she think we’re the same?

But before I could say that this was not true, Sato-san said,

“Let’s pick out some gifts. We are almost out of time.”(S)

Her voice had changed to a gruff and cheerful voice. Then she picked out a few snacks for me. She faltered and thought hard about which ones tasted good, which ones were just the right number, and which ones were reasonably priced, and then she worked with me to find the right ones. It was so much fun to have Satou-san’s smiling face right next to mine.

So when we finished buying souvenirs and she went back to the group of girls, I suddenly felt lonely. Satou-san, who was chatting and laughing with the other girls, who had been standing next to me laughing with me a while ago, seemed to have become very distant. I wonder if this is how far we are from each other. If you say that I’m like a person from another world, this distance is impossible to fill. But I’m not.

I finally realized. After all this time, it’s too late, but I don’t know if I can do anything about it now.

I love you, Satou-san.

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