
You’ve Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale
YGMCT · คบสหายผ่านพิราบต้องพึงระวัง · 飛鴿交友須謹慎 · 飞鸽交友须谨慎
by Hei Dan Bai
Synopsis
The Peng Society for Gentlemen — a secret friend-making club for the homosexual men of the Great Xia Dynasty. Its services were designed to help its members along in their quest for their lifelong partners. Upon paying a monthly fee of fifty coins, members could get themselves listed in The Pengornisseur after providing a self-portrait, a mailing address, their age and hobbies, as well as a self-introduction. All members would receive a copy of the monthly publication, and they could communicate with one another in private using the information in The Pengornisseur.
Wu Xingzi, a bachelor about to turn forty, worked as the adviser to the magistrate in Qingcheng County.
Qingcheng County was a place with barely any resources. In other words, it was poor. In the list of counties of the Great Xia Dynasty, it had been ranked at the bottom for the past two hundred years.
Wu Xingzi felt that his life was hopeless: not only was he a homosexual, he was also a virgin. Even his retirement fund was lacking. Worse still, his looks were… forgettable.
He might as well die.
Hence, Wu Xingzi decided to commit su*cide on his fortieth birthday. However, he was unwilling to remain a virgin to death! And so, gritting his teeth, he joined the Peng Society for Gentlemen and received The Pengornisseur. It was very painful; after all, fifty coins were the sum of his daily expenditure for ten days! He would only pay it once, and he was determined to succeed on his first try.
Chapters
- #1Chapter 1 - The Affairs of Adviser Wu
- #2Chapter 2 - Penpals Through the Pigeon Express
- #3Chapter 3 - Receiving A Pile of Pengornis Drawings
- #4Chapter 4 - Nothing Was More Important Than The Pengornis Drawings
- #5Chapter 5 - Adviser Wu’s Wet Dream (NSFW)
- #6Chapter 6 - Adviser, Your Pengornis
- #7Chapter 7 - Shall We Expose Ourselves to Each Other?
- #8Chapter 8 - On the Peaks of Pleasure, In the Showers of Desire
- #9Chapter 9 - Playing With the Adviser’s Little Pengornis
- #10Chapter 10 - Flute Appreciation with Adviser Wu
- #11Chapter 11 - The Great South Garrison General
- #12Chapter 12 - The Great South Garrison General Part 2
- #13Chapter 13 - They Meet Again
- #14Chapter 14 - Let Mr D In, Here’s a Good Boy (NSFW)
- #15Chapter 15 - Guess Where This Jade Rod is Going? (NSFW)
- #16Chapter 16 - The General Wants to Stay
- #17Chapter 17 - A Beauty’s Favour is the Hardest to Enjoy
- #18Chapter 18 - City Folks are Really Different
- #19Chapter 19 - It Always Backfires When The General Tries to Fuck A Certain Someone Over
- #20Chapter 20 - The Lewd Darling and The Big Pengornis
- #21Chapter 21 - Why Must You Insist On It?
- #22Chapter 22 - Who Exactly Was That Person?
- #23Chapter 23 - All First Loves Are Painful
- #24Chapter 24 - And So Will-o’-Wisp Lu Makes Trouble
- #25Chapter 25 - Let’s Just Plant Cucumbers
- #26Chapter 26 - The Adviser’s Daily Life
- #27Chapter 27 - Will o’ Wisp Lu Finally Appears!
- #28Chapter 28 - Adviser Wu Rides a Horse (NSFW)
- #29Chapter 29 - For Whom Are You Getting Angry About?
- #30Chapter 30 - The General’s EQ is Touching
- #31Chapter 31 - Rumours
- #32Chapter 32 - You Like Fanning The Flames, Yet You Can’t Take The Heat (NSFW)
- #33Chapter 33 - He’s Like A Wisp of Moonlight
- #34Chapter 34 - Ancestor Worship
- #35Chapter 35 - The Prince of Lanling of Pengornises
- #36Chapter 36 - Staying Up on New Year’s Eve1 (NSFW)
- #37Chapter 37 - The Mutual Destruction of The Brothers Is Troubling The Advisor
- #38Chapter 38 - This New Year is Rough
- #39Chapter 39 - Fire Cannot Be Wrapped In Paper, Unless They Were Paper Lanterns
- #40Chapter 40 - The Cucumbers Have Matured
- #41Chapter 41 - Will o’ Wisp Lu’s Tricks Are Rather Stale
- #42Chapter 42 - An Interlude; Pickled Cucumbers Are Really Yummy
- #43Chapter 43 - How Can A Pengornis Compare to Me? (NSFW)
- #44Chapter 44 - Why Is It Lanterns Again??
- #45Chapter 45 - Mingzhu Flees / A Treasure Covered in Dust1
- #46Chapter 46 - Wafts and Whiffs (NSFW)
- #47Chapter 47 - There Are Some Things You Actually Did Not Forget
- #48Chapter 48 - This Apparently Is A Trap Disguised As A Feast
- #49Chapter 49 - That Peach Forest, Once Upon A Time
- #50Chapter 50 - A Qin’s Melody Spells One’s Emotions
- #51Chapter 51 - Haiwang, Are You Really Not Going to Let The Physician Check Your Eyes?
- #52Chapter 52 - Let’s Do Something A Little Interesting (NSFW)
- #53Chapter 53 - Come, Come Touch Your Belly (NSFW)
- #54Chapter 54 - Are We Still Giving This Gift?
- #55Chapter 55 - Rancui Gains A Loyal Puppy
- #56Chapter 56 - Your Good Friend Mr. Lu Is Back Online
- #57Chapter 57 - That Frog in The Well
- #58Chapter 58 - So Many Pengornises In The Capital, Of Course I Should Go Take A Look!
- #59Chapter 59 - The Past Is Over, There’s No Turning Back
- #60Chapter 60 - The Will-o-Wisp Turning Into Dust Only Needed The Blink of An Eye
- #61Chapter 61 - The Various Emotions of Life, And So It Goes
- #62Chapter 62 - It’s Time For Plot: Trouble at a Wedding!
- #63Chapter 63 - Not Sure What Title to Give This, Bursting Their Bubbles?
- #64Chapter 64 - The Agreed Upon Blood Vomiting
- #65Chapter 65 - The Long Journey to The Capital
- #66Chapter 66 - If He Doesn’t Belong to Anyone, Would You Want Him?
- #67Chapter 67 - You Can’t Stop Taking This Medicine
- #68Chapter 68 - Is This In The Hands of Fate or Mine?
- #69Chapter 69 - This Peng Society Gathering…
- #70Chapter 70 - I’ve Missed You… (NSFW)
- #71Chapter 71 - A Dream That Left No Traces (NSFW)
- #72Chapter 72 - Every Age Brings In a New Pengornis
- #73Chapter 73 - The Tree of Jianmu: The Bridge Between Heaven and Earth
- #74Chapter 74 - We Both Have Nothing, And So Coincidentally, We’re A Match
- #75Chapter 75 - As The Saying Goes, To Be Hoisted By One’s Own Petard
- #76Chapter 76 - No Matter How Painful Getting Hoisted By One’s Own Petard Is, It’s Self-Inflicted
- #77Chapter 77 - Yan Wenxin
- #78Chapter 78 - Forever and Eternal Peace
- #79Chapter 79 - Rubbing the Belly
- #80Chapter 80 - Showdown
- #81Chapter 81 - Showdown Part 2
- #82Chapter 82 - How to Prove This?
- #83Chapter 83 - A Trap Within A Trap(?): Part 1
- #84Chapter 84 - A Trap Within A Trap(?): Part 2
- #85Chapter 85 - Advisor Wu Toughens Up
- #86Chapter 86 - Tell the Truth
- #87Chapter 87 - Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining
- #88Chapter 88 - This Is Called A Slutty Hole (NSFW)
- #89Chapter 89 - How About Burning The Pengornis Drawing of Ping Yifan?
- #90Chapter 90 - Your Good Friend Yan Wenxin is Now Online
- #91Chapter 91 - Spring’s Frequent Visitor, While Money Disappears
- #92Chapter 92 - Meeting the In-Laws
- #93Chapter 93 - Your Pengornis Isn’t The Only Thing I Like
- #94Chapter 94 - Ai, There’s Something I Want to Say (NSFW)
- #95Chapter 95 - A Bolt From The Blue (NSFW)
- #96Chapter 96 - Anxious and Uneasy
- #97Chapter 97 - What Was Man Yue Doing Here?!
- #98Chapter 98 - Adviser Wu’s Short Story
- #99Chapter 99 - Someone Is Vomiting Blood
- #100Chapter 100 - Time to Get Yan Wenxin to Fall Into The Trap!
Ratings & Reviews4.5 · 160
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